Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is just saying “no.” It sounds simple, eh? Just say it: “no!” But for most of us, saying no is something like being scared to death to get on stage and give a presentation. And why is this so? Probably because of the world we’re living in. A world where we’ve become so accustomed to getting what we want. We’ve all pocketed a handful of friends and family members that we don’t even practice common courtesy with — remember those phrases like “please” “may I” “can you please do me a favor” — and have chosen to demand requests upon requests because we’ve already abused them enough into saying “yes, yes, yes,” that it’s become as natural as breathing.
But let’s not blame these demanders for we are the only ones to blame. We’ve allowed them to take such advantage of us that all barriers of politeness and respect have been destroyed. Now we find ourselves in a situation where we’re scared to say no to anything. “Can you lend me your book?” “yes.” “Can I sleep on your couch?” “yes.” “Can I borrow $100 bucks?” “yes.” Now you’re a yes man. You yes your way through life all the while you’re suffering inside because you really wanted to say “no.” In fact, you don’t want to lend Joe your book because he never returns them. You don’t want to let Sarah sleep on your couch because she makes a mess and never cleans up after herself. And you don’t want to lend Kevin $100 bucks because he already owes you $500. And yet, the cycle continues. You continue to allow people to step all over you.
Why?
Perhaps you want to remain friends. Perhaps in some sick way you actually get-off by letting people hurt you. Or maybe because you feel weak and too feeble to standup to such a powerful, authoritative bully who uses his “status” or “power” or “pull” to take advantage of you time and time and time again.
Today’s message is simple, folks. Think about YOUR happiness and freedom and peace of mind before the next “yes” comes out of your mouth while the real “no” lies dead in your heart. Don’t be scared to say no. It’s all to easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the more you say “yes,” the more good you are doing in the world. “I’m going to say yes all the time because it’s the righteous thing to do and some external force will reward me one day.” No, sir. What you’re really saying is “I’m going to let this person continue to take advantage of me and use ‘doing good’ as an excuse to justify my fear of saying no.”
Respect yourselves, my friends. Sure, help people and say yes if the situation is right. But if someone continues to use and abuse you, you need to put your foot down and sever the stronghold they have around you. You deserve to be happy. You have the right to say no. And if they don’t understand that, then they don’t deserve you as a friend.
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