Friday, April 11 by David Askaripour in Life | 6 Comments
Fear is such an interesting thing. Something so powerful, in fact, that it can easily determine the course of our entire lives — the actions we take, the thoughts we think, and the decisions we make.
Fear can be a scary beast that prevents us from growing and prospering in new directions of life. Fear isn’t something to be stigmatized and labeled as “bad.” Fear can be your greatest teacher. And the lessons begin only when you embrace fear and become a student of fear.
Allowing fear to be the scary beast in the dark tunnel, but a scary beat with a lantern in its hand, guiding you down through the darkness; sure, it’ll be scary, but at least you can see what’s going on inside of you.
I sometimes encounter what some would call vertigo when I get on really high places where there is a real potential to fall, such as the top of a high roof or a sky lift in super windy conditions. But here’s the thing, even though that these things truly scare me and it sometimes feels like the world is falling apart beneath me when at such heights (vertigo), I continue to test my fear and find high places to be. Not turning away from my fears, but going towards them — over and over again.
For some people, that may sound absolutely ludicrous and insane. And for others, it makes perfect sense.
I have come to realize that the more you jump directly into your fears, the more you begin to understand yourself, all the while overcoming your fear(s) to the point of A.) it no longer has any involvement in your decisions and it’s completely removed or B.) you still have the fear, but it’s become your partner, not your enemy.
Again, the aim isn’t to destroy your fears, but to, in some capacity, build a relationship with them. And you can only do that by accepting them and working directly with them. Anything less, and you’ll remain a slave to your fears.
Friday, March 28 by David Askaripour in Life | 3 Comments
How easy is it to watch an endless stream of videos of people doing amazing things such as recycling, practicing sustainability, and consuming environmentally-conscious foods? How easy is it to smile when hearing about great leaders doing positive things for their communities? How easy is it to listen to stories of heros who took a stand against great opposition for what they believed in?
Extremely easy.
It’s ridiculously easy to watch from the sidelines a see great things taking shape. Because it feels good, as it should. No doubt. It feels great to see positive change manifesting. Hell yeah it does..!!
But, my friends, don’t get trapped by “watching” these amazing things unfolding. Don’t remain on the sidelines in a passive — “positive” — position only watching and observing these things.
Because when you do that — remain on the sidelines — you’re dis-empowering and declaring yourself as a rock on the beach. No. Become the lively and vigorous wave crashing about, constantly moving and changing.
Join the movement. Join the fight. Join the pains. Join the struggles. Join the joys. Join the tears. Join the blood. Join the death. Join the peace. Join the love.
Whatever you do, don’t just watch in a zombified state of passivity. You’re better than that. Don’t live your life vicariously through the courage, bravery, and actions of others. Become an ember and contribute to the flame.
We need all the sparks we can to help keep the flame of positive change and peace burning. For I tell you, it’s dwindling. So step up an jump in. You can do it. I know you can. You know you can.
We need you.
Monday, February 11 by David Askaripour in Life | 4 Comments
A friend recently confided in me and asked for some guidance on running his business and how the decisions / choices he’s making affect the lives of the people working within his organization. Below, I answer these questions with my own insights and thoughts.
I don’t seem to get that time is money. I usually think that is the same if my website is finished tomorrow, next week or next month. I’m too relaxed sometimes and the problem is that the people I work with get very frustrated because they can see how the time passes by and little or no progress is made. They don’t see results and the motivation in them just goes away little by little. I always wait until it is the right time to do something (until all the planets are aligned) and that rarely happens, so I procrastinate all the time as opposed to get started and figure out how to overcome the obstacles along the way.
Time is not money. Time is time. And you have all the time in the world. It boils down the expectations that you establish within your organization. If you are the sort to set specific dates and schedules, then think wisely about how you’ll meet those deadlines “before” you set them. Or, if you run an organization that goes with the ebb and flow and ups and downs of life, then maybe setting set schedules is more of a hindrance than benefit. For instance, someone such as myself hates to set fixed deadlines for anything, and I find that I get a lot more done when I have more freedom to flow with a project, as opposed to trying to control it.
I often don’t want to see the reality. I know that sooner or later something bad is going to happen (e.g. we will running out of money, a key employee will quit, our vendors won’t deliver on time) and I pretend that the problem isn’t there and will take care of itself. More often than not, this doesn’t happen and I end up with a much bigger problem. I just pretend that the problem doesn’t exist because it feels better to think that everything is all right, even when it isn’t, but then it hits harder.
Think about this — you are going to DIE one day. Now that’ll put things into perspective for you real quick. And, to many, that’s not even really a “bad” thing. While running a business, or “just living,” bad things are going to happen — there’s NO way around that. Embrace that. Accept that. We need the bad things to happen to truly appreciate the good things. Alan Watts describes life as a wave. The wave in comprised of the low point (the trough) and the high point (the crest). We need both the trough and the crest in order to wave in life. Just don’t get fixed on the trough; realize and accept it. And know that a crest is always ahead of you.
I usually do things the easy way, not the best way. For example, I know a vendor will not be very reliable, but he already sent the samples, price sheets, photos, etc. I would go with him even though I know I will have problems in the future because selecting another vendor, getting new samples, price sheets and photos is just “too much work”. I take the easy road and I end up being screwed by the unreliable vendor. The main reason I do this is because I don’t delegate much stuff and I am so overloaded with work that the least I want is more stuff on my plate.
Think of this in an analogy of the chess game. Sometimes you need to move your knight about 3 ranks back just to go 1 rank forward. In life, like chess, you have to sometimes go through a necessary hell and necessary bullshit to get to a point that you want to be at. And sometimes not. Think about the here and now — today. What will make your “todays” much easier and better for your business? Don’t think about a week from now or even a year, think about how to best improve your present situation. Thinking this way will shape your tomorrows and the actions you take “today” will reverberate into the future.
I don’t trust other people as much as I should. For this reason, I don’t delegate much, and I try to do everything myself. I believe that if I do it, then I can be sure it will get done right. The problem with this is that A) I can’t do everything, I just don’t have enough time and B) By doing the little stuff I lose focus about the big picture, and that leads my company in the wrong direction. The main reason I don’t trust people as much as I should is because most of the times I tried to delegate something, the job wasn’t done right or at least not the way I wanted it.
Okay, here are two good options: 1.) If you see the potential in the people you are working with and you “feel” that their heart is truly aligned with your organization, then spend as much time as it takes for them to understand how things should be / get done. 2.) If they are just going through the motions for a paycheck and really have no desire to carry out objectives and further, intuitively grasp what needs to be done / improve on what needs to be done (in the absence of you looking over them), then you have to release them from your organization — they are dead weight sinking your ship.
I am really bad with the finances. I’ve had 3 companies so far and with the 3 of them I ran out of money along the way and that either killed the company or at least caused catastrophic disasters. I also used to make huge mess mixing my personal finances and company finances (e.g. taking money from the company to go out with friends or paying company expenses with my own personal money), but I got much better at this.
You need to sit down and meditate about money. Seriously. You need to think about what you really want to do with your life and how money will play a role in that (your) life. If you just want to spend money for partying purposes and having fun, then maybe you should get a 9 to 5 job to finance that. But, if you want to use money to further your cause, grow your company, and help others make a living, then step up and take responsibility over your finances. Learn to control yourself. See money as not only a tool to having fun, but also as a way to grow something great. When you have something great on your hands, nourish it. Don’t take in for granted and misappropriate funds to best suite “your” desires.
I build a company around what I would like to do or what I am good doing, not around a good business opportunity. This is for sure the worst mistake I’ve ever made as an entrepreneur. I usually ask myself “What would I like to do?”, “What would I be good at?”, as opposed to “What does the market want?”, “What will people be willing to pay for?”. For example, my current company, X, sells designer leather goods online, and our sales are pretty low. I know people who sell stuff very similar to our products, by visiting stores and boutiques and talking to the owners, showing them samples, and they sell so much! I wouldn’t like to do that myself, so I decided we should be an Internet business, because I love computers and Internet Marketing, not because that would be the best business model we could choose, or the best way we could market our products. I believe that the solution is obvious (find out the best business model and find the right people to do what I am not good at), but I’ve been doing it wrong so far.
All entrepreneurs / businessmen need to ask themselves these questions:
- Am I doing this just to make money?
- Am I doing this because it’s what I love?
- Would I still do this even if I wasn’t making a cent off of it?
If you do things solely for “money,” then under my definition of who an “entrepreneur” is… I wouldn’t believe that you are one. And that’s okay. Maybe you just like “business” and seeing how you can come up with ways to make money. And you can do both, of course. Just make sure that you don’t blend the two, or you’ll tangle yourself up. Set aside some “money making” projects just to keep the funds rolling in. That can be in the form of a “business.” Then do things that you seriously LOVE — with the total understanding that if it never generates money, then that’s okay.
I am often not willing to do what it takes to succeed. There are things I just don’t like doing. For example, making cold calls. Ideally, I should delegate these things to someone who is really good at it. But the thing is that to hire that person, I would need money, and I won’t get money until I don’t make the cold calls myself and get some sales. It would be great to hire people willing to work just for a commission (a good one), because that would mean no risk for me and no money up-front, but the truth is that most good salespeople want to make sure they will get a paycheck even if the sales are not that great, specially at a company they don’t even know it exists. This is the only issue I don’t seem to find a solution for, except for making the cold calls myself, which I would hate doing in the first place. Do you think is part of being an entrepreneur doing things you don’t like doing?
Don’t force yourself to do ANYTHING in life. If you don’t like making cold calls, then don’t do them — ever. People have this backwater notion of life that disgustingly bleeds into entrepreneurship, stating that “you have to do whatever it takes, no matter what.” I say no way to that. When you force yourself into doing things that you really don’t want to be doing, you totally pollute your mind and body with stress, drama, problems, etc.. which leads to regressions, never advancement. Do what you can do within your own capacity of passion and likes. That sort of momentum of you continuing to do what you can do, at all times, will lead to all the solutions you are seeking, i.e., finding someone to do the cold-calling. It all comes down to your energy and what you are projecting. And trust me, for anything you can think of in life… cold-calling, business plans, programming, whatever it may be… there’s someone out there that will be willing to lend a hand for free, for an equity stake, for an exchange of services, or for what I would call a “ridiculously” low price (such a price that would be commensurate to that person’s particular situation in life).
I wish you the best my friend and I thank you for asking me these important questions. Because through these questions / answers, I believe people will find the answers and inspiration that they need. Anyone that may have alternative answers, please feel free to comment and voice your ideas. We can all benefit from this discussion.
[image credit: by HaMeD!caL]
Thursday, January 24 by Eric Patrick Marr in Life | 5 Comments
I’ve really been thinking about this concept a lot lately, evaluating and investigating my own life, and my own thoughts, to uncover areas where I’ve been holding myself back.
I found a big one. I found, within my consciousness, major, major fear. A deeply ingrained fear, that in all truthfulness, has been dominating me since I was a little child. This may knock over some sacred cows, but they now need to be knocked over. For all of my life, I’ve been afraid of one fundamental, underlying entity – my parents.
The Fear of My Parents
And let me speak from first-hand knowledge, this is a traumatic, tormenting, paralyzing state of being. I don’t wish it on anyone. I’m not going to delve into all of my thoughts about my parents right now, but I will say with all confidence, that it cannot be the least bit healthy to be scared of one’s own parents.
I have to end this fear. I have to seize control of this situation, otherwise my life will continue in the same holding pattern that it’s been struggling to get out of, for decades now. I have to grow up. I have to say NO to fear, even if it means…
Fear gets held within my body. I can feel it. I feel the stress pains in my legs, I always have. I have frequently felt even more pain in my lower back. I can sometimes see the fear in my face, when I look in the mirror, and it pisses me off, royally. I am not supposed to, meant to, designed to, or destined to live in fear, of any kind. I am meant to live in beauty; a beautiful world of my heart’s creating. I am meant to live in a world of abundant perfection.
Fear Fuels your Problems, Love Soothes them
Fear is the root of all “problems.” Fear stems from doubt, which are anti-forces of Love and confidence.
Love, which when operative, produces Confidence, creates all beautiful and perfect things in the universe. Fear, which is the product of doubt, stymies Love’s creative abilities and darkens the world around you, even within you. Fear, is not an alive, viable energy, like Love. A dark room can easily be controlled by a lightbulb suddenly switched on. Likewise, fear can easily be eliminated by Love switching on.
But all the darkness in the world can’t overpower even a single lightbult.
So it’s clear: Light dominates darkness.
So Fear is just the absence of Love, like darkness is just the absence of Light.
But Fear has no living, eternal source, of its own. There is no such thing as a “dark switch.” You only create darkness by turning off all the lights! Fear and doubt don’t create anything, they only stymie Love’s creative abilities, if allowed to do so. Fear is bondage. Fear is torturous. Fear is paralyzing. Fear is imprisoning.
How many of us live each day scared of a number of things? Scared of failure. Scared of trouble, of disaster. Scared of what people will think, or say. Scared of others’ perceptions.
Scared of something, more than likely, if not some things.
Fear is My Only Enemy
It is clear to me that Fear is my only “enemy.” Fear and its father, doubt. But the good news for me is that I can control this, I can govern this, I can even eliminate this internal wrestling match as I nurture my love, nurture my confidence, nurture my seed of Life inside me.
I know My Life is infinite in nature, the seed inside me, that IS me. I know this to be true. But at times, I’m not able to walk the walk. I can talk the talk, because I’ve learned the language. But like a little boy learning to ride his bicycle for the first time, without training wheels (for me, those training wheels is the corporate environment of “job security” which I loathe and detest), I still get scared. My parents tell me it’s impossible. My friends watch only from a distance, waiting to see that I fall, so they can feel better about remaining in their prisons.
Only a few folks are out there trying to ride this bike of life without training wheels. Only folks like David Askaripour, the Self-Made Chick, etc… Obviously there are others, I’m only saying you will indeed be in the minority at first. It takes a Love and a Confidence like nobody around you has to ride this bike.
Stepping Up to the Plate to Bat Away Fear
To live this life, to create this world you see within you – it’s going to take growing up and kicking fear and doubt in the …
It requires Life’s energy, which is available in abundance within us, but it must be utilized. It must be tapped into. Otherwise it sits there dormant, like a seed sitting on your kitchen table. Doing nothing, producing nothing. Remaining potential, but never being realized.
And Life’s energy is Love. It is the tune we, and all of creation, dance to, as Einstein said.
Monday, January 14 by Eric Patrick Marr in Life | 2 Comments
Like David, I’ve long used The Story of the Seed as the fundamental illustration of Life’s inside-out, unlimited workings. A seed holds infinity within, it’s plainly obvious. And the environment it’s cultivated in, goes a long way toward determining the realization of that infinite potential.
What I want to discuss today is one final aspect of this seed and this ground. A part that only recently have I actually contemplated, and the part that I’ve never heard anyone else talk about.
I want us to take notice of the invisible part of this Life equation. You see, we can touch and feel an orange seed, or a watermelon seed. And we can also get our hands dirty in topsoil or dirt. And obviously we touch, feel, taste and smell the juicy fruits when we cut them open. Those parts are tangible and visible. They are physical. But my question is…
Why does…
The Seed + The Ground = Fruit ???
What actually MAKES an orange seed literally transform itself into an orange tree, just because it’s planted in the warm soil of the Floridian peninsula?
The answer is very profound. VERY, VERY profound!!!
There must be a Life Force. An invisible, operative entity that actually causes Life, causes growth, causes the transformation of the invisible internal into the visible external.
“That which is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de St. Exupery
The Invisible Force is Constantly Flowing
You see, there is a literal, physical and spiritual FORCE at work in this universe that causes a seed to transform itself into fruit. Otherwise – if there was no force – the seed would just sit there in the ground, doing nothing. But that’s NOT what happens, is it (not in good, viable soil, at least)? Something definitely happens! Change happens! Transformational growth occurs! Mr. Sperm doesn’t just meet Mrs. Egg and just sit there. They integrate with each other, become one, and wah-lah, that single cell transformed itself into you and me!!!
(Also note, when you partake in a banana, it’s equally accurate to say you are eating a seed. THEY ARE THE SAME THING! The only difference – one is on one end of the transformation spectrum, the other on the other end. But the fundamental makeup is the same. More on that later…)
My point: the seeds inside you – the pictures, the ideas, the dreams, the visions, the passions, the loves, the thoughts – have within them that same ability to transform themselves into external, visible manifestations, a.k.a. fruit.
In fact, this is the way Life works. I’m not a religious fellow in the least, but Jesus even used this Story of the Seed as his fundamental teaching about Life, saying if you can comprehend this Life phenomena, you can grasp everything else!
Please hear me again – the universe has this invisible force at work in itself, all the time. Just like the cornfields in Iowa have this innate ability to turn countless corn seeds into countless ears of countless varieties, the universe at large has the innate ability to turn your seeds into an abundance of fruit, an abundance of Life!
In fact, there is no other way that Life operates. Florida oranges don’t just appear out of the sky. Iowa corn doesn’t just fall from the clouds. In fact, little babies don’t get dropped off by the stork.
Everything comes from within, in every aspect of life!
It’s the way Life has been set up, and it’s plainly obvious with just a little observation.
The Seed + The Ground + The Innate Force of Life = Fruit
Because The Force of Life makes it work. It’s just been set up this way, as nature illustrates all around us!
So all we have to do is plant our seeds
Don’t hold them back – don’t keep your ideas, your passions, your thoughts, your visions inside you. Don’t let them get wasted in the wrong soil (the environments of fear and doubt). Don’t let unenlightened mentalities (the thought that something is impossible) keep you from transforming your seeds into your Life. Cultivate your mind, cultivate your thoughts, cultivate your understanding so that the seeds inside your heart can grow and be nourished, so they can transform before your very eyes from mere imaginations into tangible, visible realities!
As someone said, “even the largest oak tree began as a tiny acorn.”
And so it is with everything.
I love you,
Eric Patrick Marr
Friday, January 4 by Eric Patrick Marr in Life | 1 Comment
The reason I throw that word Authentic in there is because there’s likely no concept more misused and misunderstood than the idea of leadership. Someone’s title, or position, no more indicates one’s Authentic Leadership ability than me in my Carson Palmer jersey indicates my NFL quarterbacking ability.
To grasp Authentic Leadership and what it truly is, let’s just think about the word “leadership” itself, before we even dive into examples and illustrations. And when reading these, think of your own life and workplace and the “leadership” you see. Also, remember Harvard’s findings that 90% of American managers are ineffective.
To lead:
- To go first. To be first. To think first. To act first. To visualize first. Think about it, if you’re not going first, you are following somebody who is.
- To move. To not be stationery. Think about this – if the status quo is simply being maintained, no one is being led anywhere. Things are just staying the same as they’ve always been. (Hmmm… sound familiar???)
- To have others actually follow. I don’t even need to clarify this, it’s so obvious. If someone calls himself a leader, yet no one follows in his footsteps, then he’s just out taking a walk! (John Maxwell)
To expand a little bit, think about what it means to go, be, think, act, or envision first. Think about what is required to do this. It’s actually quite extraordinary!
Cre*ate, (verb): to evolve from one’s own thought or imagination, as a work of art or an invention.
Dictionary.com
To create the first telephone means telephones didn’t exist before. So what “model” could Alexander Graham Bell possibly follow? To invent the airplane, what forefathers of flight did the Wright Brothers have to learn from? To declare the sun, and not the earth, to be the center of our universe, what encouragement could Galileo have obtained from his predecessors, who like him, were all severely persecuted for questioning anything the church ordained absolute? To pen the Declaration of Independence and create the world’s first democracy, what footsteps did John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin have to follow in. Who dared rise up against English royalty?
The Discovery of Self Knowledge — From Within
What knowledge did Martin Luther King, Jr. have to glean from in declaring his dream?
What predecessors did Rosa Parks follow after when she refused to leave her bus seat?
What American coffee company did Howard Schultz model Starbucks after?
Whoever actually did invent the internet – did they just read a previously written college textbook to find the idea?
Did Nelson Mandela think it’d be a breeze to oppose apartheid in South Africa?
Now look at all these examples, and so many more, and notice the common threads of Authentic Leadership.
Without much reflection, you quickly see the traits of extraordinary courage, relentless passion, eternal vision and almost an unending source of energy that compels and propels these people to pursue things that followers only talk about as if they’re science-fiction concepts.
Also, I’d venture to say, most of these folks were not looking to be leaders. Even Albert Einstein, who obviously rose to great fame and notoriety later in his life, often mused at the irony of his situation. He, a man given to solitude and much reflection, eventually found himself to be one of the most famous men on the planet. And life was not always easy for young Albert. He was even quoted once as saying, “In my mind, I imagine a clock at every point in space, but in reality, I cannot even afford a single clock for my house.”
Yet he continued on.
Abraham Lincoln’s life has also been well documented. The dude wasn’t born in Kennebunkport, Maine with a prestigious last name. And the dude wasn’t handed success right out of Oxford. In fact, in the military, he actually started out as a captain of men, then later settled into his rightful fighting place – as a Private!
All of these people – Authentic Leaders. They believed in something not seen before.
Walt Disney also comes to mind. Where would Orlando, Florida be without that cat? Still partially under water, most likely!
Authentic Leaders are ones who see things first. They see and envision possibilities within themselves, as there ARE NO outside creations to copy. They have something alive within them that stirs them, awakens them, and pushes them. They see first, they say first, they build first, they act first. There is nothing for them to follow – except their own voices, their own inspirations, their own thoughts, dreams and ideas. They create brand NEW things, and this is the definition of Authentic Leadership.
And you’ll notice, these people all made society better. They made life, if not the entire world, better. And not just for themselves, but for millions and billions of people.
And these are the people we owe our own lives to. The few, but life-bettering, Authentic Leaders who dared not follow the status quo of mediocrity, but believed in themselves enough to forge a much better life and a much better world, for all of us to follow after!
// read more of EPM’s inspirational work at his blog
Friday, December 21 by Eric Patrick Marr in Life | 2 Comments
Probably the most misused word in business is leadership. I hear that word thrown around so much, you’d think our world was chock full of great leaders. Obviously that’s not the case (Jim Collins, in Good to Great, discovered only 11, out of 1400+ companies studied, qualified as great. Less than 1%.)
Personally, the funniest use of the word leadership is when politicians use it to describe their work. Uh, less than half the people in this country even vote – who’s following you, Mr. Congressman??? 
John C. Maxwell said it perfectly – “If you call yourself a leader but no one’s following, you’re just out taking a walk.” (paraphrase from The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.)
I laugh almost as much when managers call themselves leaders. Oh really, you’re a leader? What if your people didn’t need their paycheck to survive, would they still come to work for you? Probably not. Managers don’t exert any influence, other than fear. Those followers are following money, not you.
You see, Authentic Leadership, while extremely simple, has been widely unknown to most of us, for most of our lives. The Apostle Paul said in this world there are many teachers, but not many fathers. (Lots of people like to give directives, but who gives of themselves?)
So let me briefly outline what Authentic Leadership is and what it’s not:
What LA is not:
-
Thinking it’s someone’s obligation to follow your directives
- Making someone fit into your mold, your image
- Commanding from on high, from above
- Self congratulating and self-centered
- Controlling
- Done externally
- Perceiving fault and inadequacies
- My way or the high way
- Rules Creation
- Wheel spinning and complicated
- Impatient
- Self Righteous
- Blaming others
- Trying to build yourself up
- Being served
- Not trusting, or trustworthy
- A Manager of the status quo
- A Maintainer
What LA is:
- Empowering people to follow their own voices,
to pursue their own greatness
- Integrating (engineering) other peoples’ innate
greatness with your innate greatness
- Supporting, enabling and building from below
- People congratulating and people-centered
- Liberating
- Done internally
- Recognizing the potential for greatness within every
human heart and soul
- Integrating (engineering) all kinds of ways
(methods) to reach the common goal
- Love Distribution
- Focused, simple and clearly communicated for all to
easily follow
- Teaching, Coaching, Developing, Investing
- Equality based
- Recognizing the roots produce the fruits (YOU are
the roots. Hello?!?!)
- Building others up
- Serving others
- Built entirely on mutual trust
- A Creator of Newness
- An innovator, an instrument of change and progress
(to LEAD implies movement, not stagnation!!!)
I think you get the picture. Hopefully.
There’s a world of difference between a title on a door and the place you have in peoples’ hearts. A few other great quotes on Authentic Leadership (all EPM paraphrased):
“What enables a great leader to fulfill his vision is not his position, but his passion.”
John C. Maxwell
“Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you’re not.”
Margaret Thatcher
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
John Quincy Adams
/////// read Eric’s recent essay: “My Take on the Bible, Part 1” ////////
Saturday, December 15 by David Askaripour in Life | 2 Comments
Making money is easy. Seriously, I’m convinced that anyone that really, really focuses on making money, will, in time, make a lot of money. No doubt. If you want to become extremely rich and you wake-up every morning trying to become just that, and you give it all you got, in time you will be! You’ll make it happen. I don’t think that this is hard and from my experiences, when I focus on purely making money, guess what, I just make money.
Now, doing something that you are absolutely passionate about, without necessarily trying to make a buck, is what people have decidedly made a hard thing, a hard concept.
I have come to the realization that I really don’t like doing anything for the sole reason of making money. In fact, this idea now disgusts me very much. It’s not a good feeling. It’s an uneasy feeling that I try to avoid at all costs.
I like to do things for the simple reason that they make me happy and are enjoyable. Sacrificing that joy to make a buck isn’t something that I enjoy at all. However, that isn’t to say that we can’t make plenty of money through our passions.
Yes, in theory you totally understand me — “Follow your passion and in time it’ll make money.” We’re very familiar with this. But does this apply in practicable terms — real life. “Dave, talk to us about real life!!”
Okay, let’s talk real life. Yes, I do think that this works in real life. And I’ll tell you why it always works. Because of “service.” That is to say “service to others.”
If you are in the business of servicing yourself, and yourself only — this will never work. If you’re in the business of servicing your bank account, then, please, continue to do that — just don’t try to use your passions to serve yourself only — because that will never work.
Okay, back to the point. If you, through your passions, truly help and serve people. And you have a genuine desire to help them — not just pretend. And you think of money as a secondary condition. Then, believe me, you’ll always be alright. You won’t lose. You can’t.
When you are truly passionate about something and that passion is fused with a desire to help people, then you’re working on fertile soil that will produce endless fruits of gratitude, positivity, and peace. And you’ll soon see, that people whom have been influenced, touched, and helped from your efforts, will want to contribute back to you. This is called reciprocity.
This is the transactional nature of the universe. When you transfer your passions and services to others — expecting nothing in return — something will be transfered back to you. And you’ll always be taken care of.
If you’re a writer, speaker, business owner, whatever… Then be that person. Do those things because they make you happy. Do those things to help other people. Do them because they add vale to the world. And when people wish to express their gratitude, accept it.
A smile. A dollar. A word of advice. A hug. A sweater. However they show their appreciation for you sharing your passion with them — accept it and continue on. Continue on because what you’re doing is what you’re passionate about and that’s that. Nothing else. Nothing more.
This is the essence of “Right Livelihood.” Coming to the crossroads of living your passion and serving people. Creating such a balanced situation that everyone prospers. If we all lived in this spirit and thought more about serving others than ourselves, we’d be much happier. There would be less stress and more joy in this world — no doubt about that.
Wednesday, December 5 by David Askaripour in Life | Leave a Comment
I’m really not sure if it is. Multitasking sounds great, doesn’t it? It’s a word that is widely used among entrepreneurs and across various industries. It refers to someone’s ability to do many activities at once. Such as: write an email, discuss a contract on the phone, eat your sandwich, and watch you favorite show all at once.
The terms can be found in almost any job application and job offering: “You must be able to multitask” and “I’m a great multitasker and can handle many projects at once.”
Here’s a question: Can you have two separate thoughts simultaneously? Can your mind give two — or more — distinct thoughts your full attention at once? Unless you’ve somehow reached a level of thinking — and extremely rare — level of mind control… I doubt that you can. I’d even say that most people in the world can not.
So, with that said, why are all trying to split our minds? I believe that our quality of work and the attention that we can devote to something, can be greatly improved if we focus on one thing at a time.
When you eat — eat. When you talk on the phone — talk on the phone. When you write a letter — write a letter. When you are having a discussion with someone — have a discussion with someone.
I guess this way of thinking — being 100% immersed in whatever we are doing — is too simple for us. Instead, for some reason, we want to complicate everything, myself included.
We want to split our minds by attempting to do a million things at one. This empowers us and make us feel good about what we “think” we are really accomplishing. However, this is really diluting our mental output and decreasing the quality of whatever it is that we are trying to accomplish, create, manifest, what have you.
Imagine that someone gave you the task of catching 3 rabbits that escaped their cages in the woods. Now, would it be more effective trying to locate and capture all three rabbits at once OR would it be more effective to focus all of your attention on catching each rabbit separately? It would be nearly impossible to catch them all at once, but very realistic to catch them one by one.
Concentrate your mind power, don’t dilute it. Focus on something and become one with that something and only that something — nothing else. It’s tempting to try to do a million things at one, I know, but power and energy will undoubtedly be lost.
Saturday, December 1 by David Askaripour in Life | 5 Comments
“He’s so smart.” “She’s a genius.” “That was the most intelligent thing I have ever heard!” “You’re brilliant!”
Those are some terms used to describe certain people who are able to figure certain things out in life. We call them “smart” and “intellectuals.” We compare them to ourselves and think about how much we simply don’t know and how much they know.
But we have it all wrong. We are wrong to think in this comparative manner — separating “you” from “them.” This sort of illusory way of thinking has led to the immensely sharp feelings of inadequacy and “I’m less than you” sentiment.
Let me first say that being “smart” is not a gift nor is it a special talent that certain people are given at birth. It’s an actualization of the mind that one has attained through self-inquiry and the unlocking of the door to infinite potential and creativity.
We ALL have this ability to think on a “genius” level. “Genius.” Such a nice buzzword, isn’t it? This word utterly underscores the entire process of “comparative thinking” in an intellectual respect. The word has been used as a fence to separate what you are capable of from what some have already realized. That’s all.
There is no secret to genius. There is no magic. There just is. You already have all the ability in the world. All the ability to think on any level that your mind can possibly imagine. You do. You just have to realize that. Be that, by letting that be.
Stop comparing. Stop selling yourself short. Stop belittling your abilities. You’re only fighting yourself when you do that. You are going to war with yourself. General “Self” against General “Self.” And you reach a point of stagnation. Your mind no longer evolves at that juncture.
All those sparkly adjectives that you’re using to describe those people who you deem as smarter than you — redirect them to yourself, because you are no different than them. When you see genius, you are also seeing yourself, what you can also unlock.
Don’t try. Don’t fight for it. Don’t spend your life attempting to be smart and a genius. Because what you seek already is. Just look in the mirror and smile and accept who you are… and know that everything that you desire is right there in front of you, staring right back at you.
You’re great! You’re a genius! You have it all. Just realize it.
Wednesday, November 28 by David Askaripour in Life | 4 Comments
A few days ago I was waiting for an important check to arrive in the mail. I needed to deposit that check as soon as it arrived in order to make some payments. So, that afternoon, I went downstairs to check the mailbox and the check was there. But, at that point, it was 3:52 PM and the bank closed at 4:00PM.
So I walked upstairs to my office / apartment and I said to myself: “Geezzz… I really, really, needed to deposit this check today but now I can’t because the bank closes in a few minutes and it’s about a 15 minute walk.”
Just go for it
Two minutes went by, now 3:54, and I said: “That’s it, I still have to at least try to make it!.” So I literally stopped thinking about it… thinking about the “what’s ifs… and the wells…” and threw on some running sneakers and sprinted to the bank. I was really hauling.
And, to my surprise, I got there at 3:59PM. The bank clerk was literally in the process of locking the doors. As soon as I got there, I pulled out my phone and said : “whooaa…. hold on there buddy… it’s 3:59… I’m just in time.” And he said: “ahh.. okay come on in…”
A bad decision is better than no decision
If I had arrived even five seconds later, the doors would have been closed and locked. You see, this is a very important lesson that we can all learn from. Sometimes we need to just stop thinking and just make a decision.
Now whether that decision is the wrong decision or the right one, a decision has to be made. Making a wrong decision is always better than not making a decision at all. Even if it’s a decision not to make a decision at this point. At least you still made a decision.
Don’t lock yourself into a thinking cell
We can spend our entire lives thinking…thinking…thinking… and never really accomplish anything, except, of course, more thinking! And where’s the advancement in just thinking? Nowhere. Just thinking is only going to keep you immobile and stagnant in life. We need to go beyond our thoughts where, believe it or not, thinking doesn’t really exist (that’s another article) — just doing and just being.
Learn to make decisions. Learn to take a stance. Learn to say: “okay, let me just do it!” Learn to just drop everything (literally / mentally) and just go for it. Find the leader within in. It’s in there. Every second counts. Life is precious, don’t waste it thinking all day.
Thursday, November 22 by David Askaripour in Life | 5 Comments
I once heard that Beethoven didn’t start hearing until he went deaf. Maybe that’s to say that we never really start seeing until we go blind. People tend to think that the more they pay attention, the more they “listen up,” and concentrate, and the more serious they are about something — anything — that they’ll learn more. I used to think that. I used to think that the harder you try, the better you’ll become.
Trying “hard” is a interesting concept. Hard. What do you think of when you hear the word hard? What does hard mean? What do you visualize in your mind?
I see rocks. I see a wooden floor. I feel cold. I think about immobility. I think of pressure and even stress. I’m not a big fan of hard nowadays. Anything hard is forced. A diamond is created from immense and tremendous pressure… no wonder why it’s the hardest thing on earth.
When a job or task is hard, we automatically equate it with stress, long hours, headaches, and a whole bunch of “oh….mans…. geezzz… gosh…”
When we fall down on the ground hard, it hurts. When we say something in a hard tone, we offend. When we define someone as “hard” it usually means that they are tough or a gangster pushing drugs.
What about easy? What comes to your mind when you think about easy. What do you feel? What do you hear? What images do you see?
I think of a butterfly gracefully coasting through the sky on a spring morning with the birds chirping and the flowers exuding their sweet honey fragrances. I think of someone just chilling, relaxing, sitting back and reading a book in peace on the beach. I hear someone humming a tune and smiling.
“Take it easy…” We say that when someone needs to let go and relax. Our minds are at “ease” when we are comfortable and stress free. Our ideas flow effortlessly and everything becomes so easy to us when we’re in that certain zone, right?
I have an idea. An idea that everything in the world is easy. Everything is just as how it should be, right now. That everything naturally flows just as easy as the butterfly takes flight and soars without even trying. And as easy as a bud blossoms into an amazing flower.
We are the ones who make everything hard. When we try “hard” we get “hard” results. When we flow with the nature of things and “ease” into them, we get easy results.
Let go. Let go of your thoughts. Stop thinking and trying to shape a world that’s already perfectly formed. Underneath all your stress, imperfections, unfulfilled desires, complex situations, drama, whatever it is that you are trying to shape…lies perfection. Perfectly at ease. Perfect harmony. Perfect balance.
Beethoven began hearing when he became deaf, I think, because he was finally able to calm the storm. He was able to crumble the steel molds desperately trying to shape his music into an already perfect world. When the world became silent, for once, he heard the perfection in himself. In his music.
Monday, November 19 by David Askaripour in Life | 12 Comments
Someone: Hey, so what do you do?
You: I do yoga.
Someone: Oh, you’re a yoga teacher?
You: No, I practice yoga.
You: I also read books, write, drink tea, go to the bathroom, think about things, come up with idea.
Someone: No! What do you do… You know… Like, what is it that you do!?
You: I just said what I did.
Someone: No, what’s your job?
You: Oh, do you mean: “how do I make money?” Is that your question?
Someone: Ah, yeah. Duh!
Isn’t it pathetic? We live in a world where people don’t care about the things that you do — the things that interest you. Correction: They care more about how you make money, first and foremost. All the time — parents, friends, family, new people — they all want to know “what do you do?” But in reality, they are asking “how do you make money — what’s your job?”
Too Much Information Scares People
So why not just ask that in the first place? Why dance around the real question? I’ll tell you why? Because people can’t handle a lot of information. They don’t want to. It scares them. Not because it’s a lot, but because it’s disruptive to their way of live.
Imagine this:
Someone: What do you do?
You: I do this, this, that, this, that, this, this, this, that, and that, and this, and that…
You see, people want a one line answer. A simple answer. They want: “I work here.” And with that response (with your “here”), they can now label you. And in that labeling, they feel safe. Because you are now equated with one thing instead of a myriad of things. If you were to start listing off what you really do, they larger images of yourself, then, in their eyes, you become greater than them. It’s too complex for them to handle. And in that complexity, confusion arises. Anger arises. Because they, themselves, have a singular definition of themselves. And to have to encounter a person who don’t subscribe to their same philosophy of a one-label description of themselves, is disturbing.
Will Your “Job” Define You?
As to say how a person makes money defines that person. Actually, it’s not about how a person makes money — they don’t care about that. The real question is “how much money do you make?” “Are you a productive individual?” “Where are you on the social status continuum?”
I was thinking about this last night and the next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to say “yoga… I do yoga.” Why will I say that? Because I do, in fact, do yoga.
That person will probably be confused and respond quizzically with: “what do you mean… you teach yoga classes.” Ha, you see what’s happening here? Because in order “to do” something, in their eyes, you must be making money from it. Weak.
Being Productive is Subjective
Our society believes that in order to be “productive” you have to do something that makes you money. And only after you are doing something that makes you money, then you can do other things that don’t make you money. So to say that you need a “job” in order to be productive. Then once you have that job, you can live life and do things that you really enjoy.
That’s a truly twisted way of thinking. And this philosophy is deeply engrained in our society. It upsets me that people think this way. When are we going to realize that money is just a concept? A concept that should never define a person.
People who use the concept of money to define a person are truly blinded. Seriously, they are caught up in the hype. The media. The “bling bling.” The big “corporate job” with the corner office. The “must-have” items. Hah….
This is their equation:
+ Hard work. Rigid HARD work. Painful and stressful work (which means it’s good work)
+ The “good job” that pays you a lot of money
+ The rock solid stability of corporate America
+ Hard work! Hard work! Yes sir! Yes Boss!
+ Long hours
________________________________
= Now you have have fun and do non-paying passionate “things”
= Oh, ok, you are safe now. Now relax and enjoy life
= You are a standup citizen — good job boy!
Their equation, sadly, is wrong. Enjoying life and “living” your passion — not living your “job” — is natural, not something that should be forced. Not something that you should do solely to live up to the societal standards of “having a job” and being a “productive individual.”
You can produce plenty of joy, positivity, and contributions simply by doing what’s fun, what makes you smile, what you can do, all day, and not expect a pay check from. How will respond the next time someone asks you “what do you do?”
Do you!
Friday, November 16 by David Askaripour in Life | 4 Comments
Seriously, nobody really knows what’s in your head — only you. Only you truly understand what you are doing with your life. Only you truly and intimately understand your projects, ideas, thoughts, and insights. Only you fully grasp what you’re seeking; what you’re trying to do; what you’re focusing on.
The aforementioned paragraph helps remind us how much people really don’t know, but think they know about what it is you’re doing. Because in life, everyone thinks that they know what’s best for you.
Ha, what’s best for the project that “you” are working on. What’s the best way for “you” to think. And what course of action “you” should be taking.
And guess what? That’s okay. It’s okay to allow people to think about what’s best for you. Fine. Let them. Let them tell you what you should be doing with your projects, business, ideas, etc. No problem. It’s happens everyday.
But, if you let people dictate your moves, your thoughts, and the development of your projects, then you’re in trouble. That’s a BIG problem.
So many times people begin to lose trust in what they are doing simply because they are influenced, forced, and sometimes even coerced into taking a new tack — into doing something totally different than what “you” planned — than the direction that your heart was leading you in.
You let this person mold you, shape you, and play with you like you’re a piece of silly putty. Maybe it wasn’t just one person. Maybe it was many. And now you end up doing something completely different all because you didn’t follow your heart, you followed your head on behalf of what other people had to say about your project. That’s a weak situation, dude.
Don’t be silly putty and mold into what the world wants you to be shaped like. Stand up strong for what “you” believe is right for “you.” Protect your projects by following through with how you see best fit.
Because at the end of the day, no one in the entire world is going to have the panoramic view of what you are thinking, such as you do. They’ll always have the short view… and no matter how much they think they are right about what it is that you should be doing, just absorb it, register it, and if it makes sense to “you,” then incorporate it… but never let it destroy what “you” feel is right.
Trust your heart.
Tuesday, November 13 by David Askaripour in Life | 2 Comments
We talk about creative people, technical people, and people who are both. Indeed, such categories do exist as you’ll learn from my analysis below, but they only exist if you let them. They are illusions and can be destroyed. It just depends on what sort of journey you’re on and whether you care (or not) to expand, bend, break, and twist your mind and uncover what you’re really capable of doing.
Creative People
These people were born creative. Thinking creatively within any context comes natural to them. They can come up with brilliant creative solutions and processes with whatever it is that they are doing.
I often hear people say that “the world doesn’t need all creative people… the world needs garbage men to pick up the garbage, right?” So to say that garbage men aren’t creative people… That’s utter bullshit.
Creativity is innate and that’s just how certain people think, irrespective of your occupation, your current life situation, or any other circumstances. You’ll most like be creative for the rest of your life if you were born that way — that’s how your mind is wired.
Technical People
Like the creative people, the technical people are born with technical brains. These people find it very easy to excel in math, science, and other highly analytical fields like programming.
Technical people have the ability to think algorithmically and analytically in pretty much any situation they’re involved in. It’s easy for them to compute large amounts of data in their minds and put it to use in practical ways.
These sort of thinkers are usually not creative, or at least not very creative. It’s not easy for them to come up with totally radical concepts. It’s not easy for them to think of alternative ways of doing things — they simply rely on their data and put it together to come up with solutions. Hardly any brainstorming or deep introspection at all.
The In-between People
Some people, though rare, are extremely creative and technical. They can come up with brilliant concepts and also excel with technical issues. These people are dangerous (in a good way), especially if they learn how to use both ways of thinking simultaneously.
At the end of the day…
People have the ability to transform, grow, and expand their minds into any way of thinking that they can possibly imagine — we have infinite potential. No doubt. However, creative people can transform into technical people much more easily than technical people can begin to think on creative levels. A creative person that wants to learn about astrophysics can begin reading physics books and start studying with physics geniuses and slowly begin to grasp the concepts of physics; such a person can make great technical leaps and truly begin to start thinking on technical levels… but it most cases, such a person won’t excel beyond ordinary measures in technical matters; they’re likely to remain on a rudimentary level. Just as a technical person can try, and try, and try to think in creative ways… and possibly be able to make some breakthroughs, but it isn’t likely that they’ll become a very creative person (re: always thinking creatively)
Why “isn’t it likely” for such transformations to take place?
Simple. Because most people in this world don’t care about changing their minds. Altering their minds. They reason with: “I am who I am and that’s how it’s always going to be. I’m not more and I’m not less. There is no infinite potential for me.” And it’s that same poisonous way of thinking that has kept people from making great advancements — by not spending time, through deep introspection and journeying within — unlocking (re: locating) their true potential. People simply don’t want to put in the work.
Will you put in the work? Do you want to expand your mind and unlock your infinite potential? Do you want to discover things that you’ve only dreamed about doing? I hope so. I hope that’s the journey you’re on.
Saturday, November 3 by David Askaripour in Life | 6 Comments
Why are people so obsessed with impressing other people? We see it everywhere. It’s quite disgusting if you ask me. I’m a fan of the Food Network — big fan. Though I’m a vegan, I still like watching people cook some pretty creative dishes. Well, anyways, the Food Network has all these shows such as “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” and the one where Rachael Ray spends “$40 a Day” on meals in a particular city. Here’s what gets me mad about these shows: every…single…time… Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri visit a restaurant and try a dish, they say the same, scripted, automated line: “Mmmmm….. WOW…… This is SOOO….. Goood…… Oh, My…. God…. WOW!…. Amazing.”
I have never seen a single episode of any of these shows when someone actually “didn’t” like a dish. Time and time again we get the same old line. I’m still waiting for a “Nah… this doesn’t taste good.” Nope, that doesn’t happen. It’s really hard to believe that each dish these people taste is really that amazing. Why can’t the Food Network keep it real? Are they scared to tell people what they really think?
Are YOU scared to tell people what you really think? Hell yes we are. Our society, through shameful enculturation, have been breeding a nation of people who are so caught up in impressing the world. Everyone wants everyone to like them no matter what. Even at the expense of turning into a fake-smiling, fake-complimenting, and fake-living machine who only cares about being ingratiated into the hearts of others.
We’ll do anything for a buck nowadays. If it’s going to close a deal then let’s say anything that the client wants to hear — doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. If it’s going to help me climb the corporate ladder, then let me kiss the bosses ass — doesn’t matter if I hate his guts. If it’s going to help me get this chick in bed, then let me tell her how hot she is — doesn’t matter that I think that she’s only “okay” and that I’ll never call here again in a million years.
Ha, it’s pretty funny actually. No, really, it’s amusing. We love kissing ass, don’t we? We love doing doing or saying whatever it takes. In fact, I think that most of us don’t even care about how fake we’ve become.
We’ve become masters at the art of pleasing and pretending, that it’s nothing short of second nature to us at this point. But, you see, most of these fakers aren’t hard to spot. Their fakeness shines through them like a glass of water put up to the sun. They have no substance — they’re just liquid.
Keep things real. Just be you. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop worrying about hurting peoples’ feelings just by being honest with them. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not just to get by in life. Stop all the fake smiles and fake “oh wows!…” Because if you don’t you’re bound to crack, shatter, and before you know it…. there will nothing left of you to piece back together.
But don’t worry, we’re all fake to a degree — myself included. I just guess nobody wants to talk about it.
Thursday, November 1 by David Askaripour in Life | 14 Comments
Remember those days of hell, frustration, waking up early, and going to bed dreading the next day of bullshit at your bureaucratic, stressful, and “make-me-want-to-kill-myeself” 9 to 5 job? All day long, at work, you blindly stared at the screen, but you weren’t doing work, you were thinking about going off on your own and pushing forward with that project, that company you always wanted to start.
Months, maybe years, go by and you finally muster the courage and confidence to leave. You’re out! You’re free! Infinite possibilities! Right…? You have such vigor and energy. You get that team together or maybe even go solo and start that company; start painting; start writing; start building robots — whatever your project of choice may be.
It’s been a year now and you’re pushing full-steam ahead. Things are beautiful. They’re great! You are so happy that you went down the path of being in charge of your own life.
But all of a sudden, like a brick being smashed across your face, you realize that things haven’t REALLY changed that much. You wakeup stressed thinking about all the deadlines that you wrapped yourself up in. You wakeup thinking about all the bills you need to pay in order to keep your project alive. You wakeup thinking about all the responsibilities that now lie on your shoulders.
You thought that leaving your job would be the answer. You thought that it would — what’s the saying? — “free you.” You felt amazing knowing that all of your problems would be solved by just “doing your own thing” and “being in charge.” You thought that you’d be “the man.”
But now look at yourself. You aren’t happy. You aren’t “truly” happy. Your problems weren’t solved, they were increased. You’re stuck in this wheel of “instant success,” “millions,” “fame,” “mansions,” “the easy life,” “power,” and whatever other term(s) you use to justify your pains of pushing forward with your dreams.
My intention, here, isn’t to dissuade you from pushing forward or from taking that leap into your project / business. By no means. My intention is to help you realize that all your problems aren’t going to disappear when you decide to go down a certain path in life.
We’re always painting this rosy picture of how “leaving my job was the best thing that I could have ever done” and “I’m free now — YAY!” Well that’s a bunch of bullshit and nonsense. In fact, I’m guilty of spreading such propaganda.
I look at some people who quit their jobs and started something on their own… I look at them at don’t see happiness, success, and freedom. I see pain, frustration, aggression, and stress. Sure, some of them are even making a lot of cash. But cash isn’t even strong enough to bring them happiness.
They were so caught up in the hype of “freedom” and “getting back their power,” that they lost sight of their intentions. Their lives became tainted and infected by using (re: abusing) their passions as a tool to bring them happiness.
They took their passions and traded it in for a life of stress and pain. They forgot that their passions shouldn’t be determined by material circumstances. They’ve become the wife in American Beauty, trying to define inner beauty by a meaningless, superficial material world.
Pull yourself out of this pit. Use your passion as a rope and find your center again. Come back to reality. Seek TRUE freedom within, not through material means. Seek TRUE power from actualizing your infinite potential, not by abusing your passions to accumulate a certain status in life. Seek TRUE happiness by keeping it real with yourself and realizing that your problems aren’t going to go away by going from employee to employer. Your passions shouldn’t be causing you stress and envoking those same hellish feelings as you experienced when working that 9 to 5. Because if that’s the case, just go back to your 9 to 5 and make your life easier. Please, do the world that favor.
Thursday, October 25 by David Askaripour in Life | Leave a Comment
Don’t we all know that person — maybe you — who has been working a 9 to 5 but, all they can think about during work is starting their own business or working on a project of their own. And the more they fight it, the more prevalent the concept of going off and starting something becomes.
I used to know a girl who, by nature, was a brilliant artist. She was truly gifted. But she pushed her dreams of becoming a magnificent painters aside, and chose to go down the path of marketing for a large corporation. Deep down inside she had a calling to push forward with her art, but she continued to ignore and resist it. In time, she grew confused about her life and what she was meant to do, but the dream of painting and sketching continued to affect her every thought.
Or what about the people who resist going with what their heart is telling them to do. Maybe it’s “drop everything and go to Mexico” or “completely drop this project to work on another.”
These internal struggles are commonplace and the more we resist our feelings to evolve, our passions to do something, or what we know is the right thing to do, the more these aspirations persist and come back to haunt us.
Resistance simply adds fuel to the fire, it doesn’t put the fire out. When we resist, we shut off our potential; we close the door for opportunity; and we minimize our chances to actualizing our dreams.
As I always tell people, “just let things flow.” Stop building walls between what you are doing now and what you want to be doing now. Follow what “you” know is right for “you.” It doesn’t have to feel right to anyone else except yourself. You are in control of your destiny, no one else. Don’t waste anymore time.
Wednesday, October 24 by David Askaripour in Life | 2 Comments
Here’s a question to ponder: Beneath everything that you do — business, art, science, helping others, whatever — what truly defines you? What sort of impact will be left on this Earth after you die?
Now I don’t think that there is a definitive answer to this question. In fact, I don’t think anyone should outright come up with a single, all-encompassing definition, because we’re all so multi-faceted and go way beyond the limits of any single word.
However, it’s a question — even an exercise — that we should all think about. Will you be remembered as the jerk who was always negative to everyone and bashed concepts because you thought they were absolute garbage? Will you be remembered as that person who was always willing to lend a helping hand without expecting anything in return? Will you be remembered as someone who had only one end in life — and that end consisted on making money and nothing else?
I don’t know, but you probably do. You know yourself better than anyone else. But I’d venture to say that many people, right now, reading this probably aren’t happy about how the world will remember them or the impact that they’ll leave on society — the world.
And if that’s the case, then you are likely doing something that you may not be passionate about; perhaps something thing isn’t quite positive; or maybe something that you feel forced into doing due to various circumstances, i.e., for the money, fame, etc.
It’s important to check in with ourselves and see where our true intentions lie. To evaluate the ratio of what we are putting into this world to what we are taking out of it.
We all talk a big game about our contributions and how we’re going to change the world one day, but the fact of the matter is that changing the world isn’t contingent upon how “successful” our businesses are or how many people are using our service. Changing the world starts in the minds and hearts of a person and can be done on a daily basis by our “actions” and the we “think.”
Think about that.
Monday, October 22 by David Askaripour in Life | 4 Comments
What power we possess. What vast amount of influence we hold. What immense passion we can shine forth. Through our words, you see, we can make a significant change in someone’s day.
Some may think that words are inert, but they’re quite the opposite. Words instill ambition. Words break hearts. Words put smiles on our faces. Words embolden us. Words excite our creativity.
Ever have one of those bummer days when everything is falling apart? You know, the days when you just can’t seem to get rid of that black cloud above your head.
And then, all of a sudden, someone — maybe a relative, friend, or lover — says something so simple, yet so profound, that your entire mood turns from negative to positive. That black cloud evaporates and the warm rays of the sun shine through and brighten everything up.
Maybe it was an “I love you” or an “it’ll be okay” or “we learn from our mistakes” or even “never give up, you can do it.” Whatever they said, it helped lift you up and back on track with your project, business, or organization full speed ahead.
It reminded you that everything is going to be fine. It inspired you to push on no matter how hard things get. It picked you up when you fell. It motivated you to help others. It reignited your passion to fight for what you want.
As a creator — entrepreneur, artist, programmer, writer, poet, what have you — never forget about the power of words. Appreciate the people who have been there to tell you that one thing you needed to hear at that perfect moment.
And also be aware of the power of what you say — your words. Be skillful with your words. If someone needs motivation, think about words that can push them forward. If someone has fallen, think about words that can pick them up. If someone is lost and confused with their lives, think of words that can guide them back.
Ultimately, people must solves their own problems at the source — within themselves. However, we’ve been given the great ability of words to be used as sparks to ignite that inner torch in people who need to navigate the dark caves of confusion, despair, confusion, and lack of motivation.
Because we’ve all been there. We’ve all fallen and thought about not getting back up. We’ve all pondered the “what ifs” about what we are doing makes sense or not. And we’ve all weathered the internal storms of doubt, laziness, and stress.
So remember the effects of words. Remember their abilities to heal and destroy. Use them skillfully. We all have the ability of using words, but the ones who use them to build are truly making a difference in this world.
What words keep you going?
Tuesday, October 16 by David Askaripour in Life | Leave a Comment
Nowadays everyone is so caught up in rules. Rules created by society. Rules created by ourselves. Rules that you follow but you have no idea why you are following them. Rules… Rules…Ruless…Rules galore!
Here’s a notion — what if we had no rules to adhere to? What if we could wake up in the morning and do whatever the hell we wanted? What if people were free to say, do, and act on impulse without thinking about the consequences? These “what ifs” interest me a great deal.
It may be unrealistic to think of this “material” world without having rules. I mean, with no rules there would be havoc and chaos. We’ve created rules, as a society, to keep ourselves in check. Are they good rules? I don’t know, that’s for you do decide.
But let’s talk about the rules of our minds, as individuals. In the mind no boundaries, regulations, and limits should exist. There should be no governing laws in the mind. Think, destroy, create, have a blast, do whatever you want with your mind. That’s the brilliant thing about having a mind. No one can take these freedoms away from you — except yourself.
Yet so many of us create boundaries in our minds. We cage our minds up. These same boundaries seep into our material worlds and inhibit us from doing great, extraordinary, magnificent things.
I say let loose! Let your mind wander! Draw outside of the lines! Because the mind is not concrete in nature. It’s a butterfly gracefully soaring through the sky without limits, without boundaries, and without rigid structures.
Fear. Stress. Protecting the status-quo. Being risk-adverse. These are all rules that we set in our minds. We tell ourselves “No, I can’t do this because I don’t have the skills” “I’m never going to find the solution, so let’s give up,” “This project is way too complex, I’m not smart enough” or “my family will hate me if I go in this or that direction.”
That’s all garbage. Throw it away. Those are rules that you are setting up for yourself, to your own detriment. Rules that will crush your potential as a creator. Rules that will extinguish your dreams. Rules that will keep you confined within those lines.
You’re an artist, so paint. Paint wherever your heart desires. No rules. No boundaries. Just allow yourself to be free. And when you have a free mind, anything is possible. Limits don’t exist. Your projects will become that soaring butterfly.
Saturday, October 13 by David Askaripour in Life | Leave a Comment
Whenever someone steps off the path, steps out of line, goes left when others go right, and breaks out of the herd formation, that person is either 1.) feared 2.) hated or 3.) respected — sometimes a combination of the three.
Why Are They Feared?
They are feared because people naturally dislike change. They don’t want to see someone doing something that makes them think in a new — a disturbing / disrupting — way. They are feared because they don’t understand why in the world a person would want to do something different when there’s already a perfectly “acceptable” and “ordinary” way of doing it… that’s already in place. Because people fear what they don’t understand. They shun those that dare to be different, because, in their hearts, they don’t have the courage to be different.
Why Are They Hated?
And that fear turns into contempt and hatred for such a disruptor who dare step out of the sheep herd. People hate people who are doing things that they are lacking — so in order to compensate for that “lacking” they project hatred, fueled by jealously. People hate those who come up with radical approaches that totally displace former notions and former concepts. Most of the time, that hate is so strong that that person will — for whatever reason — do everything in their power to prevent you from pushing forward with your ideas. They’ll curse you behind your back, they’ll tell others not to believe in you, and they’ll look for anyway to destroy you and your plans.
Why do They Respect You?
However, you’ll always have those who respect what you are doing and admire your courage for being different — for stepping out of line. Those that fear and hate you many even respect you, but, of course, they’ll never let you know that. Just trust that many of your enemies actually have tremendous “secret” respect for you. Those who respect what you are doing will remain in your corner and you’ll have their support to help push you forward no matter what’s to come. These special people are the ones who can see that sparkle in your eye when you speak about your idea, plans, philosophy, project, etc. They can feel that overwhelming energy radiating from every cell of your body. They can see you light-up and glow with passion and enthusiasm as you grow and your project matures. These people are your gold — hold onto them and never take them for granted. These are your believers.
YOU Decide How You’ll Let People Affect You
Remember, that you hold the power. The army of people out there who hate what you are doing and fear what you are doing are just people with opinions. The smart person would actually respect those naysayser and listen to what they are saying, even though you may not agree with them and though many of them will be aggressive and totally out of whack. Still, listen to their words but don’t let those words throw you off. If you do, then they’ve accomplished what they have set out to do: dishearten and dispirit you. And those that support you and believe in you, cherish those people and stay close to them. They’ll help keep you going in so many ways.
Thursday, October 11 by David Askaripour in Life | 16 Comments
What are “Happiness Expectations”? They are those things that you tell yourself that you currently don’t have, and the only way that you can be happy and content is when you attain them.
Why should there be conditionals on happiness? Why should you have to attain certain sales figures with your company or make that amazing breakthrough with your project in order to feel good? Why should happiness be something that comes about only under certain, “ideal”, circumstances in your life? Why are you waiting for it?
We’ve Been Fooled
We’ve been conditioned in so many ways that we’ve lost track of “why.” Through enculturation. Through the media. Through television / movies. Through business leaders. Through you name it. We’ve been told (re: taught) that in order to be happy in life we need to make a lot of money, live in that big house, be esteemed by all, or have that amazing company that everyone knows about.
But we’ve been tricked. We’ve been fed a bunch of garbage and many of us took the bait. We’ve told ourselves that unless we reach certain goals, we can’t allow ourselves to feel successful and be at peace with our present circumstances.
What if I were to tell you that happiness and success lies within you, at all times? It’s there, but we unknowingly lock it up and only allow it to shine through on particular moments — those “special” days. What if I were to tell you that you can have those special moments 24/7 if you really wanted to?
We’ve Raped Success
We’ve abused, raped, and totally destroyed the word “successful.” We’ve taken that word and and covered it with a bunch of pretty sparkling — “bling bling” — stickers: money, fame, cars, mansions, blah…blah… blah.. Well I won’t be a subscriber to that butchered, status-quo, concept of success.
Success is Simple
Because success is quite simple. If you wake up in the morning, live your passion second by second, and truly appreciate life for what it is, right now, then you are successful my friend. Success will not be defined — and limited — by material objects and social status. Success will be “EXPERIENCED” by how you feel right now — what you’re thinking / doing right now.
Remove All Conditions
Happiness and Success need no conditions to come about. Shatter those walls that are imprisoning that inner joy. Your company, your projects, your passions, your friends, your family, your ideas, and your entire life…. should never be used as means to “bring” you happiness and success because when you turn these things into “tools” you are marginalizing them, belittling them, and really taking them for granted. Enjoy life.
Wednesday, October 10 by David Askaripour in Life | 5 Comments
Just Want to Be Free
Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to ever think about paying bills, rent, food, etc. Unfortunately, I don’t have that luxury. Many people don’t. Starting a business, start-up, organization, what have you, certainly isn’t easy and making money is, for the most part, needed to make a lot of things happen in life.
It’s a Thin, Thin Line
The line between doing something that you’re passionate about and something that you do just to make you plenty of cash is pretty thin, shaky, and gray at times. Sometimes I find myself asking questions such as “will this make me money… is what I am doing now going to help me pay my bills… how can I make even MORE money from this deal?”
And guess what? That sort of thinking makes me SICK sometimes. Money this and money that. It’s like money can take over your life (if you let it.) Money can really destroy creativity, innovation, and even your spirit.
It’s sad when we are forced to decided between our passions / creativity and making money. And it’s not always easy being in that perfect sweet spot of harmoniously having both.
But Life isn’t Perfect
We can’t expect everything to be dandy and perfect, so most of us will work up to that point of freedom. Don’t get me wrong, we can all attain freedom at any moment. Freedom of the mind from stress, fears, worries, etc.. In this context, I’m talking about the freedom of not letting “money” poison our lives. Money is a great tool to have, but remember, it’s all about the person behind that money. Money doesn’t have power, people do.
Be careful when chasing money. It can really change people. Sure, I want to make money. But, now more than ever, I realize that I won’t let money destroy my passions and spirit. Don’t let money take over your life. If you’re busting your ass — right now — to be in a position where you can have that sort of freedom, then right on! Keep at it. But if you’re stuck in a rut of being mad, angry, stressed, and intellectually drained in pursuit of making that money and your entire life is suffering, then you are a slave and need to find the path to freedom.
Tuesday, October 9 by Sabah Karimi in Life | Leave a Comment
Despite the benefits and success stories of today’s most prominent entrepreneurs and independent business owners, many people are still ‘on the fence’ about plunging ahead with their business idea. Struggling with obstacles of financing, time, and risk, many simply choose to work for a company and reduce any fear involved with becoming their own boss.
If you’re still considering whether to plunge ahead, or just need a few ideas on getting started, here are just 25 of today’s top opportunities that can lead you to the independent lifestyle you want:
- Marketing Consultant
Whether it’s a company or a solo venture, every business needs marketing services that you can provide, and build a steady set of clients for referrals as needed.
- Home-Based Franchise Owner
Hundreds of franchise businesses can now be run from a home office; by taking advantage of the internet and telephone, you can start your very own franchise operation and even receive training in your field.
- Book Store Owner
Setting up your own book store can be rewarding experience; some book stores can even be created online, especially if they capture a niche.
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Daycare Owner
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Literary Agent
Thousands of authors need representation, and if you have some great contacts in the literary marketplace, this could be a great match.
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Web Designer
If you have the knowledge and communication skills to approach prospective clients, your own web design company can give you plenty of opportunities to create, and work with new projects.
- Image Consultant
Business professionals and even celebrities are looking for style experts; you can set up your own image consulting business to offer a range of services, and partner up with local salons and spas for referrals.
- Personal Concierge
This is quickly becoming a popular service in resort and vacation spots; you become the go-to person to answer questions and offer recommendations on local services.
- Auto Repair Garage Owner
- Virtual Assistant
A rapidly growing secretarial service, you can work with clients from all over the world.
- Telemarketing Agent
- Wedding Consultant
- Event Planner or Event Planning Services
- Personal Fitness Trainer
- Personal Chef
- Nutritionist or Health Consultant
- Internet Publisher
- Catering Company
If you have the culinary talents and business acumen to pull together a team, catering and event planning can be a rewarding career opportunity.
- Market Research Consultant
- Boutique Owner
- Food Take-Out Service or Delivery Company
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Gift Basket Company
If you’re naturally creative and enjoy working in the seasonal ‘rush’, a gift basket company can help you work with hundreds of clients and retailers to create unique presentations.
- Public Relations Firm
- Directory Publisher
- Entertainment Agent
What other industries or positions allow you to be your own boss? Are you an independent business owner? Share your thoughts and ideas below!
Tuesday, October 2 by David Askaripour in Life | 2 Comments
Up until a few days ago I used to think that outright declaring a niche was the best thing an organization could ever do. I mean, it makes sense right? You don’t want to create something “decent” that caters the entire world. You want to offer something “amazing” that caters to a certain group o