FEAR: The Struggles, Questions, and Observations that I’ve Made to Overcome
I’ve really been thinking about this concept a lot lately, evaluating and investigating my own life, and my own thoughts, to uncover areas where I’ve been holding myself back.
I found a big one. I found, within my consciousness, major, major fear. A deeply ingrained fear, that in all truthfulness, has been dominating me since I was a little child. This may knock over some sacred cows, but they now need to be knocked over. For all of my life, I’ve been afraid of one fundamental, underlying entity – my parents.
The Fear of My Parents
And let me speak from first-hand knowledge, this is a traumatic, tormenting, paralyzing state of being. I don’t wish it on anyone. I’m not going to delve into all of my thoughts about my parents right now, but I will say with all confidence, that it cannot be the least bit healthy to be scared of one’s own parents.
I have to end this fear. I have to seize control of this situation, otherwise my life will continue in the same holding pattern that it’s been struggling to get out of, for decades now. I have to grow up. I have to say NO to fear, even if it means…
Fear gets held within my body. I can feel it. I feel the stress pains in my legs, I always have. I have frequently felt even more pain in my lower back. I can sometimes see the fear in my face, when I look in the mirror, and it pisses me off, royally. I am not supposed to, meant to, designed to, or destined to live in fear, of any kind. I am meant to live in beauty; a beautiful world of my heart’s creating. I am meant to live in a world of abundant perfection.
Fear Fuels your Problems, Love Soothes them
Fear is the root of all “problems.” Fear stems from doubt, which are anti-forces of Love and confidence.
Love, which when operative, produces Confidence, creates all beautiful and perfect things in the universe. Fear, which is the product of doubt, stymies Love’s creative abilities and darkens the world around you, even within you. Fear, is not an alive, viable energy, like Love. A dark room can easily be controlled by a lightbulb suddenly switched on. Likewise, fear can easily be eliminated by Love switching on.
But all the darkness in the world can’t overpower even a single lightbult.
So it’s clear: Light dominates darkness.
So Fear is just the absence of Love, like darkness is just the absence of Light.
But Fear has no living, eternal source, of its own. There is no such thing as a “dark switch.” You only create darkness by turning off all the lights! Fear and doubt don’t create anything, they only stymie Love’s creative abilities, if allowed to do so. Fear is bondage. Fear is torturous. Fear is paralyzing. Fear is imprisoning.
How many of us live each day scared of a number of things? Scared of failure. Scared of trouble, of disaster. Scared of what people will think, or say. Scared of others’ perceptions.
Scared of something, more than likely, if not some things.
Fear is My Only Enemy
It is clear to me that Fear is my only “enemy.” Fear and its father, doubt. But the good news for me is that I can control this, I can govern this, I can even eliminate this internal wrestling match as I nurture my love, nurture my confidence, nurture my seed of Life inside me.
I know My Life is infinite in nature, the seed inside me, that IS me. I know this to be true. But at times, I’m not able to walk the walk. I can talk the talk, because I’ve learned the language. But like a little boy learning to ride his bicycle for the first time, without training wheels (for me, those training wheels is the corporate environment of “job security” which I loathe and detest), I still get scared. My parents tell me it’s impossible. My friends watch only from a distance, waiting to see that I fall, so they can feel better about remaining in their prisons.
Only a few folks are out there trying to ride this bike of life without training wheels. Only folks like David Askaripour, the Self-Made Chick, etc… Obviously there are others, I’m only saying you will indeed be in the minority at first. It takes a Love and a Confidence like nobody around you has to ride this bike.
Stepping Up to the Plate to Bat Away Fear
To live this life, to create this world you see within you – it’s going to take growing up and kicking fear and doubt in the …
It requires Life’s energy, which is available in abundance within us, but it must be utilized. It must be tapped into. Otherwise it sits there dormant, like a seed sitting on your kitchen table. Doing nothing, producing nothing. Remaining potential, but never being realized.
And Life’s energy is Love. It is the tune we, and all of creation, dance to, as Einstein said.
5 Comments
Eric Patrick Marr
January 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
It’s interesting, as I read my own writing. I get “scared” that I didn’t say it right, or that it’s going to be dismissed by others.
I almost felt like crying today, and I’m not sure why. I’m 6′2″, benchpress 225 lbs. easily, yet all day today, I felt like curling up like a baby.
I’m intrigued by my fear of being honest, of being authentic. I honestly don’t think it’s a fear that rules me always, only at times. But I definitely think it’s way too often, as there is no other life in existence except authentic, honest life. (Why fear that which isn’t even real?)
I think my work of encouraging others, of enlightening others, is simply my way of encouraging and enlightening myself. I think I’m the one who wants it first and foremost.
I am in the process of attacking my fears, head on, right now. Eliminating them, once and for all. F fear!
I think it’s my way of healing my own self, this process of overcoming my fears. I think I came from a darker world than I even realized.
I wonder if we all did.
EPM
lawrence
January 24th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
fear is a terrible disease - it really is; it’s down there…in the same range category as depression, severe depression even.
it just grounds you, every mundane thing becomes a pain to do.
fear is basically consequences.
we just need to sit down firmly, and decide which path is worth taking - then go full steam ahead, w/o no regret
Stephan Salvia
January 24th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Fear is the opposite of love…Fear breeds hatred and ignorance. Fear is essential though. Do not let it control you. People who possess courage are often presumed of having no fear. This is untrue. Courage is to master your fear. I think this article was great and Courageous haha!
David Askaripour
January 25th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Eric, thanks for sharing with us.
I don’t think that fear is something we should attempt to abolish and uproot from our lives. For every emotion that we have — fear, anger, lust, envy, etc… there is a corresponding purpose. Fear can be debilitating, no doubt, if we let it. But is can also be liberating and powerful, if we can understand, be aware, and learn from it. Fear is just another feeling that we can learn from and play with — it’s a part of this game (this illusion) that we play. It doesn’t exist, yet it does. Don’t shun it, embrace it and let fear flow in and through you as a breath of air. If you fight it, you’ll feel it’s resistance.
Eric Patrick Marr
January 25th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
You might be the first person I’ve ever heard say “fear can be liberating…”
I’m interested in listening to an expansion of that thought. I have quite an opposite thought of fear, it’s never been anything remotely close to liberating for me.
In my own experiences, I’ve liberated myself when I’ve faced my fears head on, and said, “I will not fear you anymore, I will walk through this fire and I will come out on the other side, a stronger, more fearless man.”
It’s as if, in my life, I’ve been on a progressive journey, going eye-to-eye with each of my fears, from small to big, until I’ve reached the big one of them all, my parents, which I’ve begun facing more confidently just this afternooon, and from that, I am feeling liberated.
Please, however, let me understand your words, so I can see something I might not yet see, if indeed what you say has truth in it.
I think Love and Confidence and liberating and empowering. Fear and doubt are debilitating, except they make me angry when I feel them, so in that sense it awakens my energy to liberate myself from said fears. Is that what you’re saying?
I love me some Mind Petals!
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