So You Thought Quitting Your Job Was the Answer to Freeing Yourself? Think Again.

Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 10:48am by David Askaripour in Life

Remember those days of hell, frustration, waking up early, and going to bed dreading the next day of bullshit at your bureaucratic, stressful, and “make-me-want-to-kill-myeself” 9 to 5 job? All day long, at work, you blindly stared at the screen, but you weren’t doing work, you were thinking about going off on your own and pushing forward with that project, that company you always wanted to start.

Months, maybe years, go by and you finally muster the courage and confidence to leave. You’re out! You’re free! Infinite possibilities! Right…? You have such vigor and energy. You get that team together or maybe even go solo and start that company; start painting; start writing; start building robots — whatever your project of choice may be.

It’s been a year now and you’re pushing full-steam ahead. Things are beautiful. They’re great! You are so happy that you went down the path of being in charge of your own life.

But all of a sudden, like a brick being smashed across your face, you realize that things haven’t REALLY changed that much. You wakeup stressed thinking about all the deadlines that you wrapped yourself up in. You wakeup thinking about all the bills you need to pay in order to keep your project alive. You wakeup thinking about all the responsibilities that now lie on your shoulders.

You thought that leaving your job would be the answer. You thought that it would — what’s the saying? — “free you.” You felt amazing knowing that all of your problems would be solved by just “doing your own thing” and “being in charge.” You thought that you’d be “the man.”

But now look at yourself. You aren’t happy. You aren’t “truly” happy. Your problems weren’t solved, they were increased. You’re stuck in this wheel of “instant success,” “millions,” “fame,” “mansions,” “the easy life,” “power,” and whatever other term(s) you use to justify your pains of pushing forward with your dreams.

My intention, here, isn’t to dissuade you from pushing forward or from taking that leap into your project / business. By no means. My intention is to help you realize that all your problems aren’t going to disappear when you decide to go down a certain path in life.

We’re always painting this rosy picture of how “leaving my job was the best thing that I could have ever done” and “I’m free now — YAY!” Well that’s a bunch of bullshit and nonsense. In fact, I’m guilty of spreading such propaganda.

I look at some people who quit their jobs and started something on their own… I look at them at don’t see happiness, success, and freedom. I see pain, frustration, aggression, and stress. Sure, some of them are even making a lot of cash. But cash isn’t even strong enough to bring them happiness.

They were so caught up in the hype of “freedom” and “getting back their power,” that they lost sight of their intentions. Their lives became tainted and infected by using (re: abusing) their passions as a tool to bring them happiness.

They took their passions and traded it in for a life of stress and pain. They forgot that their passions shouldn’t be determined by material circumstances. They’ve become the wife in American Beauty, trying to define inner beauty by a meaningless, superficial material world.

Pull yourself out of this pit. Use your passion as a rope and find your center again. Come back to reality. Seek TRUE freedom within, not through material means. Seek TRUE power from actualizing your infinite potential, not by abusing your passions to accumulate a certain status in life. Seek TRUE happiness by keeping it real with yourself and realizing that your problems aren’t going to go away by going from employee to employer. Your passions shouldn’t be causing you stress and envoking those same hellish feelings as you experienced when working that 9 to 5. Because if that’s the case, just go back to your 9 to 5 and make your life easier. Please, do the world that favor.

Spread some petals These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

a few more petals for ya...

Successful Quitting: Tips from Seth Godin�s ‘The Dip’

What is the Highest Point of Human Evolution?

Newsflash: Entrepreneurs Have Bosses Too

14 Comments

Michael Martine

November 1st, 2007 at 7:45 pm

Wow… powerful words, David. I’ve been in both situations and haven’t forgotten what it’s like. The stress of knowing that absolutely everything rests upon your shoulders and having nothing to fall back on can really suck the joy out of your supposed “freedom.”

However, when I went out on my own earlier, it was partly because I didn’t have a choice: the company I worked for went out of business and I was pushed into the world of contracting and freelancing before I was really ready or capable of making it work.

Now I’m at the point where I work a full-time job and I do freelance blog coaching in the evenings and on weekends. The itch to go it alone is getting stronger. Somebody famous once said that no man can serve two master…

David Askaripour

November 3rd, 2007 at 1:42 pm

Thanks Mike. Yes, knowing that everything rests on your shoulders isn’t easy. Most people don’t know what they’re signing up for. They’ve painted this false reality of “freedom” and when they find out that it doesn’t live up to their definition, they fall into a deep, dark, black hole of pain, stress, and misery. I see it all the time. But there is always a light at the end of that tunnel — just have to move towards it Keep on doing what you’re doing, my friend.

Overheard in the Blogosphere 8 | Remarkablogger

November 5th, 2007 at 8:59 am

[...] that�s a bunch of bullshit and nonsense. In fact, I�m guilty of spreading such propaganda. David Askaripour oh mighty Google overlords, take my ads, take my firstborn, take anything you wish. By the way, [...]

Bunk

November 5th, 2007 at 7:00 pm

This is the other side of the picture that the majority of individuals never think about….nor are they warned about. Glad someone did it, you beat me to it that is for sure.

David Askaripour

November 6th, 2007 at 12:33 am

Yes, that’s right Bunk. Ha, no problem. BTW, your blog is pretty cool.

Erik Karey

November 6th, 2007 at 12:47 pm

Although you may still have deadlines and stress related to your job, I think a lot of people like the idea of working for themselves pursuing the business that they want to. It may be a lot of work, but they *should* enjoy it more because its what they’ve said they want to do.

David Askaripour

November 6th, 2007 at 12:57 pm

I totally agree, Erik. I’m one of those people who, undoubtedly, wants (and does) work for myself. But that’s that thing.. if there’s a “should” and not a “yes they do” enjoy it in the equation, then there’s a problem. It begs the question: is this really your passion? Have you grown your passion into a ball of pain? How do I get it back?

2007-11-11 Sunday Links Folder : Freelance Folder

November 11th, 2007 at 3:46 pm

[...] So You Thought Quitting Your Job Was the Answer to Freeing Yourself? Think Again. [...]

Michael Beck

November 11th, 2007 at 4:13 pm

I still have deadlines, and pressures as I did in my old 9 to 5 job, but they are *my* deadlines and *my* pressures. That’s key, and I feel much freer than I was when working for “the man”.

In the 9 to 5 world you have deadlines assigned to you by an authority figure (your boss). You have pressures put upon you by your boss as well as your co-workers.

If you fail in a project you worry about reputation and job performance evaluation in the 9 to 5 world. As a self-employed person you simply take it as a learning experience and move on.

I would much rather be calling the shots for myself than have someone with authority over my livelihood dropping more on my plate than I can handle. When you’re the boss, you can say no without fearing for your job. That is ultimate freedom.

holli jo

November 12th, 2007 at 11:55 pm

This is so true! I was in a 8-5 job I hated, and then sort of fell into my freelancing job. I’ve wanted to be a writer forever, so it’s the job of my dreams and I love it.

BUT, it’s a lot of work, and some of the work isn’t very fun, and I feel a lot of pressure to earn more and secure more clients.It’s probably just as stressful as my old job, so a lot of my feelings about freelancing are the same as the 8-5 job.

But pursuing my dream is worth it, and I really do love writing. But it’s not the walk in the park you dream about.

Thanks for being honest about it in your post!

David Askaripour

November 13th, 2007 at 12:33 am

Thanks for more awesome comments! Michael, therein
lies the problem — people becoming their own “bosses” and thus, perpetuating the 9to5 mentality on themselves. That’s the problem. We’re turning our passions into jobs! heh..

Holli, don’t think of writing as your dream job, think of it as your “life.” Passions need to be parts of your life, and positioned as such in your mind. Never place conditionals such as “I can only do this if I can make enough from it” on your passions. Of course it’s worth it, you’re worth it. Just live it. Be it. Now.

Thanks

Tate Linden

January 20th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Amen, David.

I’m a member of the choir here. Starting ones own business ain’t easy and you’re essentially just changing one type of responsibility for another. Sure, you get more control… but you’re also accountable for a lot more and have significantly higher exposure to the ups and downs.

…and for many of us we’re actually in danger of building exactly the type of organization we were trying to escape from.

Great post.

jules

July 24th, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Holee…

I just typed in “when your job is not what you thought it would be” in Google because that is what I am going through. I am in a job that I told my employer i wasnt qualified for–i’m a year in, i’ve learned alot, but i DON’T LIKE what i am doing. I have a VP who wants one thing and an IT guy who doesnt know how to do it. I manage a system that no one likes and they want to do shit the ‘old way’. Mind you, this job is MUCH better than what I have had in the past!

Do you know what realization I have come to? I am a terrible employee! I don’t give a f**k if it isnt my business. I really don’t. I’m on the verge of starting something but I am scared. But you know what I did when I developed the idea for my business? I didnt ask myself what kind of money I wanted to make—I asked myself: “jules, how do you want to live?”