[left to right: Steve, Hank Williams, Philip Tobas, Danny Kessler, Tony Bacigalupo, Rich Salem, David Askaripour]
We had another successful gathering the other night down in the the Lower East Side section of Manhattan. Though is was a smaller group, we had some really great conversations, brainstorm sessions, and a few inspirational presentations.
Our community is definitely gaining momentum and gaining strength here in the city. There are so many creative, disruptive, and innovative people in this city, and I’m really happy that some of them have been able to link up with Mind Petals Organization and add on to what we’re building.
[Shelly Banjo of Wall Street Journal is wearing black shirt]
[left to right: Danny Kessler and Cyrus Koosha]
Every month we’ll be continuing to organize Mind Petals NYC Gatherings. For those of you who aren’t sure what the concept behind the organization is, this is the idea:
Mind Petals Garden
Think of Mind Petals as a garden. And in that garden people gather to plant seeds. Each seed represents an idea, insight, experience, theory, philosophy, solution, music, concept, just about any form of creativity… and we each gather to water, nourish, and cultivate these seeds — as a collective. In time, they blossom into things that change the world, inspire, motivate, and help others. This is Mind Petals. And we’re constantly looking for more planters to join us.
Entrepreneur, Musician, Poet, Writer, Engineer, Speaker, Designer, whatever term you use to define how you express your creativity — it doesn’t matter — you are welcome to join us; you are welcome to share your creativity with us.
Because we are ALL creative. Everyone in the entire world is creative. The only difference is that some of us are able to cultivate, control, and express our creativity better than others.
Whatever it is that you’re doing, whatever passion you are living, just keep at it. Keep on expressing yourself no matter what. And if you ever make it out to New York City, stop by.
A few days ago I was waiting for an important check to arrive in the mail. I needed to deposit that check as soon as it arrived in order to make some payments. So, that afternoon, I went downstairs to check the mailbox and the check was there. But, at that point, it was 3:52 PM and the bank closed at 4:00PM.
So I walked upstairs to my office / apartment and I said to myself: “Geezzz… I really, really, needed to deposit this check today but now I can’t because the bank closes in a few minutes and it’s about a 15 minute walk.”
Just go for it
Two minutes went by, now 3:54, and I said: “That’s it, I still have to at least try to make it!.” So I literally stopped thinking about it… thinking about the “what’s ifs… and the wells…” and threw on some running sneakers and sprinted to the bank. I was really hauling.
And, to my surprise, I got there at 3:59PM. The bank clerk was literally in the process of locking the doors. As soon as I got there, I pulled out my phone and said : “whooaa…. hold on there buddy… it’s 3:59… I’m just in time.” And he said: “ahh.. okay come on in…”
A bad decision is better than no decision
If I had arrived even five seconds later, the doors would have been closed and locked. You see, this is a very important lesson that we can all learn from. Sometimes we need to just stop thinking and just make a decision.
Now whether that decision is the wrong decision or the right one, a decision has to be made. Making a wrong decision is always better than not making a decision at all. Even if it’s a decision not to make a decision at this point. At least you still made a decision.
Don’t lock yourself into a thinking cell
We can spend our entire lives thinking…thinking…thinking… and never really accomplish anything, except, of course, more thinking! And where’s the advancement in just thinking? Nowhere. Just thinking is only going to keep you immobile and stagnant in life. We need to go beyond our thoughts where, believe it or not, thinking doesn’t really exist (that’s another article) — just doing and just being.
Learn to make decisions. Learn to take a stance. Learn to say: “okay, let me just do it!” Learn to just drop everything (literally / mentally) and just go for it. Find the leader within in. It’s in there. Every second counts. Life is precious, don’t waste it thinking all day.
I once heard that Beethoven didn’t start hearing until he went deaf. Maybe that’s to say that we never really start seeing until we go blind. People tend to think that the more they pay attention, the more they “listen up,” and concentrate, and the more serious they are about something — anything — that they’ll learn more. I used to think that. I used to think that the harder you try, the better you’ll become.
Trying “hard” is a interesting concept. Hard. What do you think of when you hear the word hard? What does hard mean? What do you visualize in your mind?
I see rocks. I see a wooden floor. I feel cold. I think about immobility. I think of pressure and even stress. I’m not a big fan of hard nowadays. Anything hard is forced. A diamond is created from immense and tremendous pressure… no wonder why it’s the hardest thing on earth.
When a job or task is hard, we automatically equate it with stress, long hours, headaches, and a whole bunch of “oh….mans…. geezzz… gosh…”
When we fall down on the ground hard, it hurts. When we say something in a hard tone, we offend. When we define someone as “hard” it usually means that they are tough or a gangster pushing drugs.
What about easy? What comes to your mind when you think about easy. What do you feel? What do you hear? What images do you see?
I think of a butterfly gracefully coasting through the sky on a spring morning with the birds chirping and the flowers exuding their sweet honey fragrances. I think of someone just chilling, relaxing, sitting back and reading a book in peace on the beach. I hear someone humming a tune and smiling.
“Take it easy…” We say that when someone needs to let go and relax. Our minds are at “ease” when we are comfortable and stress free. Our ideas flow effortlessly and everything becomes so easy to us when we’re in that certain zone, right?
I have an idea. An idea that everything in the world is easy. Everything is just as how it should be, right now. That everything naturally flows just as easy as the butterfly takes flight and soars without even trying. And as easy as a bud blossoms into an amazing flower.
We are the ones who make everything hard. When we try “hard” we get “hard” results. When we flow with the nature of things and “ease” into them, we get easy results.
Let go. Let go of your thoughts. Stop thinking and trying to shape a world that’s already perfectly formed. Underneath all your stress, imperfections, unfulfilled desires, complex situations, drama, whatever it is that you are trying to shape…lies perfection. Perfectly at ease. Perfect harmony. Perfect balance.
Beethoven began hearing when he became deaf, I think, because he was finally able to calm the storm. He was able to crumble the steel molds desperately trying to shape his music into an already perfect world. When the world became silent, for once, he heard the perfection in himself. In his music.
Someone: Hey, so what do you do? You: I do yoga. Someone: Oh, you’re a yoga teacher? You: No, I practice yoga. You: I also read books, write, drink tea, go to the bathroom, think about things, come up with idea. Someone: No! What do you do… You know… Like, what is it that you do!? You: I just said what I did. Someone: No, what’s your job? You: Oh, do you mean: “how do I make money?” Is that your question? Someone: Ah, yeah. Duh!
Isn’t it pathetic? We live in a world where people don’t care about the things that you do — the things that interest you. Correction: They care more about how you make money, first and foremost. All the time — parents, friends, family, new people — they all want to know “what do you do?” But in reality, they are asking “how do you make money — what’s your job?”
Too Much Information Scares People
So why not just ask that in the first place? Why dance around the real question? I’ll tell you why? Because people can’t handle a lot of information. They don’t want to. It scares them. Not because it’s a lot, but because it’s disruptive to their way of live.
Imagine this:
Someone: What do you do? You: I do this, this, that, this, that, this, this, this, that, and that, and this, and that…
You see, people want a one line answer. A simple answer. They want: “I work here.” And with that response (with your “here”), they can now label you. And in that labeling, they feel safe. Because you are now equated with one thing instead of a myriad of things. If you were to start listing off what you really do, they larger images of yourself, then, in their eyes, you become greater than them. It’s too complex for them to handle. And in that complexity, confusion arises. Anger arises. Because they, themselves, have a singular definition of themselves. And to have to encounter a person who don’t subscribe to their same philosophy of a one-label description of themselves, is disturbing.
Will Your “Job” Define You?
As to say how a person makes money defines that person. Actually, it’s not about how a person makes money — they don’t care about that. The real question is “how much money do you make?” “Are you a productive individual?” “Where are you on the social status continuum?”
I was thinking about this last night and the next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to say “yoga… I do yoga.” Why will I say that? Because I do, in fact, do yoga.
That person will probably be confused and respond quizzically with: “what do you mean… you teach yoga classes.” Ha, you see what’s happening here? Because in order “to do” something, in their eyes, you must be making money from it. Weak.
Being Productive is Subjective
Our society believes that in order to be “productive” you have to do something that makes you money. And only after you are doing something that makes you money, then you can do other things that don’t make you money. So to say that you need a “job” in order to be productive. Then once you have that job, you can live life and do things that you really enjoy.
That’s a truly twisted way of thinking. And this philosophy is deeply engrained in our society. It upsets me that people think this way. When are we going to realize that money is just a concept? A concept that should never define a person.
People who use the concept of money to define a person are truly blinded. Seriously, they are caught up in the hype. The media. The “bling bling.” The big “corporate job” with the corner office. The “must-have” items. Hah….
This is their equation:
+ Hard work. Rigid HARD work. Painful and stressful work (which means it’s good work)
+ The “good job” that pays you a lot of money
+ The rock solid stability of corporate America
+ Hard work! Hard work! Yes sir! Yes Boss!
+ Long hours
________________________________
= Now you have have fun and do non-paying passionate “things”
= Oh, ok, you are safe now. Now relax and enjoy life
= You are a standup citizen — good job boy!
Their equation, sadly, is wrong. Enjoying life and “living” your passion — not living your “job” — is natural, not something that should be forced. Not something that you should do solely to live up to the societal standards of “having a job” and being a “productive individual.”
You can produce plenty of joy, positivity, and contributions simply by doing what’s fun, what makes you smile, what you can do, all day, and not expect a pay check from. How will respond the next time someone asks you “what do you do?”
Seriously, nobody really knows what’s in your head — only you. Only you truly understand what you are doing with your life. Only you truly and intimately understand your projects, ideas, thoughts, and insights. Only you fully grasp what you’re seeking; what you’re trying to do; what you’re focusing on.
The aforementioned paragraph helps remind us how much people really don’t know, but think they know about what it is you’re doing. Because in life, everyone thinks that they know what’s best for you.
Ha, what’s best for the project that “you” are working on. What’s the best way for “you” to think. And what course of action “you” should be taking.
And guess what? That’s okay. It’s okay to allow people to think about what’s best for you. Fine. Let them. Let them tell you what you should be doing with your projects, business, ideas, etc. No problem. It’s happens everyday.
But, if you let people dictate your moves, your thoughts, and the development of your projects, then you’re in trouble. That’s a BIG problem.
So many times people begin to lose trust in what they are doing simply because they are influenced, forced, and sometimes even coerced into taking a new tack — into doing something totally different than what “you” planned — than the direction that your heart was leading you in.
You let this person mold you, shape you, and play with you like you’re a piece of silly putty. Maybe it wasn’t just one person. Maybe it was many. And now you end up doing something completely different all because you didn’t follow your heart, you followed your head on behalf of what other people had to say about your project. That’s a weak situation, dude.
Don’t be silly putty and mold into what the world wants you to be shaped like. Stand up strong for what “you” believe is right for “you.” Protect your projects by following through with how you see best fit.
Because at the end of the day, no one in the entire world is going to have the panoramic view of what you are thinking, such as you do. They’ll always have the short view… and no matter how much they think they are right about what it is that you should be doing, just absorb it, register it, and if it makes sense to “you,” then incorporate it… but never let it destroy what “you” feel is right.
We talk about creative people, technical people, and people who are both. Indeed, such categories do exist as you’ll learn from my analysis below, but they only exist if you let them. They are illusions and can be destroyed. It just depends on what sort of journey you’re on and whether you care (or not) to expand, bend, break, and twist your mind and uncover what you’re really capable of doing.
Creative People
These people were born creative. Thinking creatively within any context comes natural to them. They can come up with brilliant creative solutions and processes with whatever it is that they are doing.
I often hear people say that “the world doesn’t need all creative people… the world needs garbage men to pick up the garbage, right?” So to say that garbage men aren’t creative people… That’s utter bullshit.
Creativity is innate and that’s just how certain people think, irrespective of your occupation, your current life situation, or any other circumstances. You’ll most like be creative for the rest of your life if you were born that way — that’s how your mind is wired.
Technical People
Like the creative people, the technical people are born with technical brains. These people find it very easy to excel in math, science, and other highly analytical fields like programming.
Technical people have the ability to think algorithmically and analytically in pretty much any situation they’re involved in. It’s easy for them to compute large amounts of data in their minds and put it to use in practical ways.
These sort of thinkers are usually not creative, or at least not very creative. It’s not easy for them to come up with totally radical concepts. It’s not easy for them to think of alternative ways of doing things — they simply rely on their data and put it together to come up with solutions. Hardly any brainstorming or deep introspection at all.
The In-between People
Some people, though rare, are extremely creative and technical. They can come up with brilliant concepts and also excel with technical issues. These people are dangerous (in a good way), especially if they learn how to use both ways of thinking simultaneously.
At the end of the day…
People have the ability to transform, grow, and expand their minds into any way of thinking that they can possibly imagine — we have infinite potential. No doubt. However, creative people can transform into technical people much more easily than technical people can begin to think on creative levels. A creative person that wants to learn about astrophysics can begin reading physics books and start studying with physics geniuses and slowly begin to grasp the concepts of physics; such a person can make great technical leaps and truly begin to start thinking on technical levels… but it most cases, such a person won’t excel beyond ordinary measures in technical matters; they’re likely to remain on a rudimentary level. Just as a technical person can try, and try, and try to think in creative ways… and possibly be able to make some breakthroughs, but it isn’t likely that they’ll become a very creative person (re: always thinking creatively)
Why “isn’t it likely” for such transformations to take place?
Simple. Because most people in this world don’t care about changing their minds. Altering their minds. They reason with: “I am who I am and that’s how it’s always going to be. I’m not more and I’m not less. There is no infinite potential for me.” And it’s that same poisonous way of thinking that has kept people from making great advancements — by not spending time, through deep introspection and journeying within — unlocking (re: locating) their true potential. People simply don’t want to put in the work.
Will you put in the work? Do you want to expand your mind and unlock your infinite potential? Do you want to discover things that you’ve only dreamed about doing? I hope so. I hope that’s the journey you’re on.
Almost a year ago I wrote a cursory review on the film “The Secret.” In retrospect, that review didn’t reflect the true intentions of the film. After doing so meditating on the films overall message and watching it again, I now have a vastly different view of the film that I would love to share with you. I will walk you through various sections of the film and include my commentary, uncovering, and, what I believe, to be misleading, false, and questionable elements of the film, starting with the theme.
The (real) Theme: Money, Riches, Fame, Cars, Mansions, etc..
I’m not sure why they called this film “The Secret.” A more appropriate name would be “The Secret to Getting Rich by Thinking About Money All Day Long.”
Seriously, this film has one underlying hook and it’s “Money.” Take a look at how many scenes they have focused on that deal with how to attain money, expensive items such as cars, jewelry, suits, etc… I’d say that well over 50% of all the scenarios in the film dealt with acquiring financial and/or material wealth.
The film starts off by asking a series of questions:
“What kind of house do you want to live in?”
“Do you want to be a millionaire?”
“Do you want success?”
“What type of business do you want?”
“1% of the population controls 96% of the wealth”
Leading into a shot of seemingly wealthy businessmen grinning and snickering around a table as if to say: “haha… suckers.. we have ‘the secret’ and we’re rich!!”
They show scenarios of people magically getting the things they want:
A lady stares into a window looking at a gold diamond necklace, and it suddenly appears on her
A man stands in front of a mirror and he is suddenly placed in the back of a limo with an expensive suit on
All of these scenarios, and a whole bunch more, deal solely with attaining wealth and material objects. That is the true theme of this film. But through cleverly interweaving a theme of self-awarness and the “Law of Attraction” the producers of the film bring us on this bogus ride of making us believe that we can have ANYTHING in this world just by thinking it — that’s all! All you have to do is think about it. Which leads to uncovering their “Law of Attraction.”
Law of Attraction
Indeed, there is a law of attraction in this universe — no doubt about that. But the way the film presents this law, I feel, is wrong. It’s going to bring more pain and stress than anything else. I feel that their logic is severely flawed and here’s why.
They tell us to “think” and “feel” about anything that you want and totally forget about and disregard anything that you don’t want. That’s all you have to do and you can have anything that you want in life.
They use the following scenarios to illustrate this:
A man sits in a chair in his living room, pretending that he is driving a sports car. He pretends to press on the gas and speed away. He even uses an imaginary clicker to set his alarm.
A boy who wants a new bike goes off and stares at the real bike in the window. He draws pictures of the bike and imagines himself with it. Then they show a scene of his grandfather actually giving him the bike of his dreams.
The speakers in the film tell us that in order to attract these things, just think about it. And make sure to “only” think about that. Okay, so based upon that, all one would need to do to become rich is to spend all day thinking about a bag of 100 dollar bills in their room and actually feel that it’s really in the room — then, one day, they will start to make a bunch of money.
I think that’s very far from the truth. Yes, it’s good to focus on what you want, but telling people to spend all day thinking about it takes them out of the present moment all together. The film’s message is to focus on “what you don’t have” when people should be focusing on “what they have.”
They are sending the wrong message to people — telling them to focus all day on these material objects, in an attempt to materialize them out of the sky. No way! We need to focus on the here and now — focusing on what you want, want, want is going to lead to more wanting, wanting, wanting, which leads to more pain, stress, and hardship.
The speakers of the film tell us not to focus on any problems that arise in our life, because if we do “then we’ll attract them.” Well that’s total nonsense. Self-actualization, self-mastery, and freeing your mind isn’t about blocking out pain, stress, and your daily problems in life; it’s about embracing them and learning to control them by not allowing them to take over your mind and thoughts.
Think about all the people in the world who spend time thinking about the suffering of others; the pain and struggles in the world; disease, poverty, war, crime, etc.. these are things that we should ALL be thinking about, because it’s the world that we live in. These are things that we should ALL try do relieve and find solutions for.
But “The Secret” tells us otherwise. They say, through the “Law of Attraction”… if you think about these things, then you’ll bring them into your life, rendering the entire concept of love and compassion absolutely moot. If that were the case, then that would make Buddhist monks the most miserable, unhealthy, and evil people in the world.
How can one care about the pains of others without thinking about pain? How can one truly care about the difficulties of their loved ones, without thinking about their hardships?
Lisa Nichols, the most prominent speaker of the films tells us: “It’s not your job to change the world or the people around you.” Are you serious? Wow, such a statement really goes counter to EVERYTHING this film attempted to stand for. It really renders a lot of the good messages that were presented incredible and totally undermines their messages of “caring for others” and “treating people how you would like to be treated yourself.”
Like the scene of the wife and husband going thorough a bad time in their marriage. Well, based upon Lisa’s statement, the wife should just give up on her husband and not attempt to make things better. This presents a huge equivocation as Lisa’s message goes counter to the message of “caring for others… not giving up on them… and to keep on working on the relationship so things get better.”
The 3 Step Creative Process
The film offers 3 steps to get whatever you want in life:
Ask
Believe
Receive
And it goes like this: ask for whatever you want in life no matter what it is. Truly believe that you “already” have it all day long. Then, as time passes, you get whatever is it is that you want. It can take anywhere from it immediately appearing out of thin air to years — they aren’t sure. It has to do with “how well you are aligned with the universe.”
And, again, they use money-based examples such as:
An investment banker who is constantly getting bills in the mail. Then by writing how much money he wants to receive on a bank statement, he starts getting checks in the mail all the time.
An author wants to make $100,000 a year instead of the $8,000 he’s making now. And by writing it down on a dollar bill, within no time, he’s making $100,000 a year by selling his book.
This is a very dangerous way to think, because when you’re spending so much time thinking about future, all the while you are forgetting about the most important moment — the present. We need to live in the moment, not a superficial dreamy state of thinking.
The message should be to think about and be happy about what we have right now. Learning how to appreciate EVERYTHING instead of trying to ATTAIN everything. That’s the fundamental difference here and the producers of the film totally bypass that, more critical, message.
Disease and Sickness
A section of the film is dedicated to living with a disease. And the message is to totally forget that you have the disease — don’t think about it at all and it will go away.
If one is suffering from a disease, they shouldn’t ignore it, they should embrace it. Ignoring the disease isn’t going to make it disappear. However, if we can spend some time understanding, being aware, and learning how to channel the pains produced from the disease, then we can master it — we can shine through it. Ignoring ANYTHING in life is never the answer. It’s the fuel to prolonging it.
The body is truly magnificent and, yes, it can heal itself — of course. But the key isn’t to ignore, it’s to be “aware and mindful.” If we are mindful of the disease and acknowledge it’s presence as a part of us, then we can work on mastering it and aiding in transitioning it out of our life. Blind faith isn’t the proper message, but actively thinking about the disease — right now, in the present — will do much more good that pushing it into the background. Please don’t take the film’s “ignorance is bliss approch.”
Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith stated in the movie: “I’ve seen kidneys regenerate.” And it was presented as a miracle. This isn’t a miracle at all. These events such as people beating cancer and overcoming severe disease all lie within our infinite potential, they aren’t miracles. They are actualizations of our boundless, limitless potential.
This is a financial-based motivational film. It’s a get some “Bling…Bling…” Flick
Nothing more, nothing less. This film is great for people who want to be motivated to get rich and amass material wealth. This isn’t a film about self-discovery, introspection, freeing your mind, and mastering your mind — far from it.
Though the producers try to paint a rosy picture of how this film is meant to help ANYONE, it’s really, more than anything, an attempt to build a franchise of products — DVDs, CDs, Books, “starter kits,” gratitude rocks, soundtracks, etc.. — around the ignorance of others. I can not recommend this film in good conscience, to those seeking to ease their pains in life and improve their minds. BUT, as I stated, if you’re looking for something to get you pumped about making CASH, then it’s definitely worth the watch.
I just feel that many of the speakers in the movie are trying to throw a little bit of Buddhist philosophy, quantum physics, and positive thinking jargon at you to mask their true intentions. More than anything, I think that this film was a MONEY play, than a TRUE desire to help people overcome their obstacles and truly understand / master their minds. In that respect, “The Secret” fails miserably.
So What’s the “Secret” ?
Guess what? There is no secret at all. There is no special way of thinking that will fulfill all of your dreams. You ALREADY have all the answers you seek. You already have ALL the power in the world. You already have everything you seek. You only need to journey inward, not locate a secret way of thinking. If you believe that there’s a secret, then you’re lost. “The Secret” teaches you to only focus on the “outcome.” No. Focus on the “Now” and live every moment in the present — forget the past and forget the future.
What are your thoughts on The Secret?
Here’s a list of some REAL films that will open your mind:
Last week Tuesday, October 30th, we had our 4th Mind Petals NYC Gathering at the Gramstand Cafe. It was a rockin’ gathering with an excellent turnout of creative and inspiring people who had a lot to share with the community.
This gathering was special, because it was the first time we had a list of presenters to come up and speak about their ideas, that lasted anywhere from 5 - 10 minutes. In former meetings, ideas were shared, but usually among regular conversations throughout mini groups that formed.
From the last gathering, and moving forward, I decided to always have at least 5 speakers who will come up and share some inspiring thoughts. After each presenter, we allowed for 5 minutes of feedback, questions, comments, further ideas, etc..
This worked out very well and we all benefited from the questions that were asked and the insightful answers from each presenter. And as promised, I took it a step further and recorded each presenter so that I can share their words with the world.
Here’s a recap of what each presenter spoke about:
David Askaripour — The Ever-Changing Nature of Ideas
Mind Petals
Ideas are constantly changing and in motion
In order for your ideas to evolve, you must free your mind
Don’t think outside the box, stay inside the box and shake it up
Ask new question, do new things, talk to new people
Do things out of the ordinary
Don’t be scared to say yes, when everyone is saying no
Orian Marx — How to Build and Maintain a Strong Founding Team
Set clear expectations for your team members
Be prepared to explain “why” you want to go in a certain direction
Don’t be scared to talk to your team about ANYTHING
Be open and honest with your team
Never let a team member hold you back from pushing forward
If it comes down to it, give your team member an ultimatum
As always, if you’re in NYC during the last Tuesday of everything month, please get in touch with us — we’d love to invite you to our gatherings. You can check mindpetals.org for an up-to-date agenda of what’s happening each month. I can also be reached at: david [@] mindpetals [.] org.
Thank YOU!!
Thanks so much to everyone who attend, shared ideas, and added-on to what Mind Petals Organization is doing. I truly appreciate you contributions and hope to see you all again — and new people as well!
Why are people so obsessed with impressing other people? We see it everywhere. It’s quite disgusting if you ask me. I’m a fan of the Food Network — big fan. Though I’m a vegan, I still like watching people cook some pretty creative dishes. Well, anyways, the Food Network has all these shows such as “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” and the one where Rachael Ray spends “$40 a Day” on meals in a particular city. Here’s what gets me mad about these shows: every…single…time… Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri visit a restaurant and try a dish, they say the same, scripted, automated line: “Mmmmm….. WOW…… This is SOOO….. Goood…… Oh, My…. God…. WOW!…. Amazing.”
I have never seen a single episode of any of these shows when someone actually “didn’t” like a dish. Time and time again we get the same old line. I’m still waiting for a “Nah… this doesn’t taste good.” Nope, that doesn’t happen. It’s really hard to believe that each dish these people taste is really that amazing. Why can’t the Food Network keep it real? Are they scared to tell people what they really think?
Are YOU scared to tell people what you really think? Hell yes we are. Our society, through shameful enculturation, have been breeding a nation of people who are so caught up in impressing the world. Everyone wants everyone to like them no matter what. Even at the expense of turning into a fake-smiling, fake-complimenting, and fake-living machine who only cares about being ingratiated into the hearts of others.
We’ll do anything for a buck nowadays. If it’s going to close a deal then let’s say anything that the client wants to hear — doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. If it’s going to help me climb the corporate ladder, then let me kiss the bosses ass — doesn’t matter if I hate his guts. If it’s going to help me get this chick in bed, then let me tell her how hot she is — doesn’t matter that I think that she’s only “okay” and that I’ll never call here again in a million years.
Ha, it’s pretty funny actually. No, really, it’s amusing. We love kissing ass, don’t we? We love doing doing or saying whatever it takes. In fact, I think that most of us don’t even care about how fake we’ve become.
We’ve become masters at the art of pleasing and pretending, that it’s nothing short of second nature to us at this point. But, you see, most of these fakers aren’t hard to spot. Their fakeness shines through them like a glass of water put up to the sun. They have no substance — they’re just liquid.
Keep things real. Just be you. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop worrying about hurting peoples’ feelings just by being honest with them. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not just to get by in life. Stop all the fake smiles and fake “oh wows!…” Because if you don’t you’re bound to crack, shatter, and before you know it…. there will nothing left of you to piece back together.
But don’t worry, we’re all fake to a degree — myself included. I just guess nobody wants to talk about it.
Remember those days of hell, frustration, waking up early, and going to bed dreading the next day of bullshit at your bureaucratic, stressful, and “make-me-want-to-kill-myeself” 9 to 5 job? All day long, at work, you blindly stared at the screen, but you weren’t doing work, you were thinking about going off on your own and pushing forward with that project, that company you always wanted to start.
Months, maybe years, go by and you finally muster the courage and confidence to leave. You’re out! You’re free! Infinite possibilities! Right…? You have such vigor and energy. You get that team together or maybe even go solo and start that company; start painting; start writing; start building robots — whatever your project of choice may be.
It’s been a year now and you’re pushing full-steam ahead. Things are beautiful. They’re great! You are so happy that you went down the path of being in charge of your own life.
But all of a sudden, like a brick being smashed across your face, you realize that things haven’t REALLY changed that much. You wakeup stressed thinking about all the deadlines that you wrapped yourself up in. You wakeup thinking about all the bills you need to pay in order to keep your project alive. You wakeup thinking about all the responsibilities that now lie on your shoulders.
You thought that leaving your job would be the answer. You thought that it would — what’s the saying? — “free you.” You felt amazing knowing that all of your problems would be solved by just “doing your own thing” and “being in charge.” You thought that you’d be “the man.”
But now look at yourself. You aren’t happy. You aren’t “truly” happy. Your problems weren’t solved, they were increased. You’re stuck in this wheel of “instant success,” “millions,” “fame,” “mansions,” “the easy life,” “power,” and whatever other term(s) you use to justify your pains of pushing forward with your dreams.
My intention, here, isn’t to dissuade you from pushing forward or from taking that leap into your project / business. By no means. My intention is to help you realize that all your problems aren’t going to disappear when you decide to go down a certain path in life.
We’re always painting this rosy picture of how “leaving my job was the best thing that I could have ever done” and “I’m free now — YAY!” Well that’s a bunch of bullshit and nonsense. In fact, I’m guilty of spreading such propaganda.
I look at some people who quit their jobs and started something on their own… I look at them at don’t see happiness, success, and freedom. I see pain, frustration, aggression, and stress. Sure, some of them are even making a lot of cash. But cash isn’t even strong enough to bring them happiness.
They were so caught up in the hype of “freedom” and “getting back their power,” that they lost sight of their intentions. Their lives became tainted and infected by using (re: abusing) their passions as a tool to bring them happiness.
They took their passions and traded it in for a life of stress and pain. They forgot that their passions shouldn’t be determined by material circumstances. They’ve become the wife in American Beauty, trying to define inner beauty by a meaningless, superficial material world.
Pull yourself out of this pit. Use your passion as a rope and find your center again. Come back to reality. Seek TRUE freedom within, not through material means. Seek TRUE power from actualizing your infinite potential, not by abusing your passions to accumulate a certain status in life. Seek TRUE happiness by keeping it real with yourself and realizing that your problems aren’t going to go away by going from employee to employer. Your passions shouldn’t be causing you stress and envoking those same hellish feelings as you experienced when working that 9 to 5. Because if that’s the case, just go back to your 9 to 5 and make your life easier. Please, do the world that favor.
"Young and Hungry: The New Entrepreneur" will take you on a journey of two young entrepreneurs who share their thoughts, experiences, and lessoned learned while in the process to finding success. Everything from discussing entrepreneurship with your parents to building a business team -- it's covered in this book. Read now »
Think of Mind Petals as a garden. And in that garden people gather to plant seeds. Each seed represents an idea, insight, experience, theory, philosophy, solution, music, concept, just about any form of creativity… and we each gather to water, nourish, and cultivate these seeds — as a collective. In time, they blossom into things that change the world, inspire, motivate, and help others. This is Mind Petals. And we’re constantly looking for more planters to join us.
A few days ago I was waiting for an important check to arrive in the mail. I needed to deposit that check as soon as it arrived in order to make some payments. So, that afternoon, I went downstairs to check the mailbox and the check was there. But, at that point, it was 3:52 PM and the bank closed at 4:00PM.
