You Don’t Want to be “Normal,” But it Sure Would be Nice to Fit In
Sometimes, just like it says it the theme song from “Cheers,” we all “want to go where everybody knows our names.” We want to be welcomed, respected and missed when we’re gone too long. Look at us — we come here to share thoughts with like-minded young preneurs so that we can feel like we belong to something. A good friend or set of friends can do wonders for our mental clarity and self image. Knowing that we can go “home” after work makes our careers possible.
But, what happens when our friends have drifted or the people we expect to offer a friendly ear don’t live up to our expectations?
A negative “home” environment (“home,” meaning where you spend your non-work time, and the people who surround you) can be far more detrimental to your health than you might think. And, no matter how much you exercise, eat healthy, rest and meditate your way through struggles, negative influences will continue to disrupt your life if you do not address them directly.
Firstly, it is important to note that many of us do not and cannot get support from the conventional sources. Our parents, extended family, and best friends from high school just may not have the ability to offer us the sense of security that we need at this point in our lives. And, we cannot expect them to. One of the biggest mistakes we can make here is to hold anger toward people for not giving us the love we need.
On the same token, if you are in constant contact with these folks, and they are not lighting up your life with positivity – you need to distance yourself. It sounds harsh to suggest that we possibly take a step away from those who we’ve been closest to for most of our lives. However, when you consider your overall happiness, health and success – you cannot afford not to.
Close acquaintances who never say “thanks” or make you feel valuable leave you searching for fulfillment in other areas. People who actually put you down, talk behind your back or turn a cold shoulder toward you help deplete your self image. Furthermore, when you share no common goals, values or dreams with those in your “home” – you naturally begin to feel isolated. All of these factors add up and gradually, but successfully cause fatigue, stress, and anything from ulcers to mental illness.
Remember that just because you may have been born into a family or just happen to live next door to a certain group of people, it is not your responsibility to forge a strong bond with them. Striving to connect with the “unconnectable” leaves you too tired to connect with important people who can strengthen your self perception and overall health.
You are never stuck. But, sometimes friends need to be sought out. Once you begin eliminating the negativity – you will see how easily the doors will open for new friends to enter your life. Never underestimate the power of good human connection. In high school, it may have been about how many people you could get to come to your party. Now, your friend choices should reflect your personal values and interests.
Who makes you happy? Who stresses you out? Who completely irks you? Choose to surround yourself with only the best, and every aspect of your life will improve.
One Comment
Madison Who’s Who - Peer Networking and Former Cronies
July 11th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
[...] But what if your peer to peer networking circles offer you little but boredom and negativity. What if, as you have evolved along your entrepreneurial path, you have left all of your old friends and their aimless lives far behind? Have you ever considered that those with whom you associate can derail your efforts one little sarcastic remark at a time? Is it time to look beyond your bleak group of acquaintances and pursue more elevating company? “Close acquaintances who never say “thanks” or make you feel valuable leave you searching for fulfillment in other areas. People who actually put you down, talk behind your back or turn a cold shoulder toward you help deplete your self image. Furthermore, when you share no common goals, values or dreams with those in your “home” – you naturally begin to feel isolated. All of these factors add up and gradually, but successfully cause fatigue, stress, and anything from ulcers to mental illness.” (Source) [...]
Leave a Comment