Some People Deserve to Be Cut From Your Life — For Good!
How do you guys feel about forgiveness and giving people a second chance? For a long time I used to never give second chances. You messed up and that was it! Buh Bye! But as the years went by I have learned that we aren’t all perfect and that we should give second chances.
But is there is a difference when it comes to your business? Sadly enough, I am beginning to think so. Though I have become a proponent of forgiveness, there comes a point where you just may have to cut someone off for good — especially if they are constantly devaluing your life and your business!
Let me give you an example. I know this one dude who I met not too long ago. The first day I met him he told me that his business made X million per year. He painted this rosy picture of how he wanted to help me out and help me push forward with my goals. He preached to me how successful he was and how brilliant we could be if we teamed up.
Now, from the first day I met this dude I saw right through him. I knew that he wasn’t what he appeared to be. He wasn’t the millionaire that he stated that he was. He wasn’t the great entrepreneur that he sold himself as. And most importantly, he wasn’t an honest person. He was a liar. A leech that tried to ingratiate himself in the organizations of others. He was deceptive and lied about everything that came out of his mouth.
And knowing all of this…and corroborating all of this…. I still decided to give him some of my time and learn more about him. Though I kept a safe distance, of course. The reason why I still spent time with him was because beneath all his deception and lies… I was still able to learn from him. Ironically, he actually had a strong business acumen.
I never met such a person. It was truly a paradox. A man who on one side was a deceptive snake and on the other side was someone who actually shared valuable business advice. That is the sole reason as to why I continued to interface with him as long as I did — giving him the benefit of the doubt that the only reason he lied to me was to impress me so I would give him a shot.
But as time went on and I exposed him of his deceptions… he continued to lie and deceive. He continued to be dishonorable and fake. His presence in my life started to spill over to my other friends who also were affected by his dishonesty.
So at that point — after giving him chance after chance to come clean and start fresh — I decided to cut him out of my life for good. Being associated with him wasn’t worth it and though I tried to forgive him… he continued to deceive.
What’s the moral here? The moral here is that though you may be all about forgiveness and second chances… you can only go so far with someone. There comes a point when you have to make a decision and cut someone out of your circle for good. If you don’t, you’ll constantly be affected by that person’s poisonous character. Your life, your business, and your friends will all suffer from such a person.
Have any of you ever had such a person in your life? Maybe someone who has tried to partner with you or was attracted to your business and tried to pretend to be someone just to be a part of what you were doing. If so, how did you handle the situation? Did you give second chances? Or did you cut them right away?
6 Comments
lawrence
June 12th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
people from all walks of life come and go - as you build a business, much more so if the business is gaining traction quickly
some will seem more right than others.
that simply comes with the territory.
if you’re not interested - don’t entertain.
but don’t burn bridges when it’s not necessary - you never know down in the future if you’ll need to use that road
Gina Laverde
June 12th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
If someone is causing you actual nightmares, or leaching their negativity into other aspects of your life they are definitely not worth dealing with — no matter how trisch they claim they claim they can make you. forgiveness involves letting go of the pain that someone caused you, but it does not require you to make the same mistakes over again.
Be cautious of liars. Observe them from a distance. no, they are not “all bad” or evil. but they certainly cannot be trusted. you may have forgiven this guy, but all along you knew him to be dishonest and that must’ve had you constantly second-guessing. you cannot afford that.
Eric
June 13th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I lost someone whom I considered a good friend not because of lying, but because of disloyalty. We were both about to embark on a potentially huge project with an up-and-coming musician.
At the last minute, after weeks of preparation, he partnered up with someone else and suggested that I leave the project because of what he claimed were “creative differences.”
But I knew it didn’t have anything to do with creative differences. It was his ego. I haven’t spoken to him since. It’s very hard for me to even think about forgiving him. But it was probably for the best. He revealed to me his true colors.
Adam
June 13th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Wow Dave, great post. You hit the nail on the head - forgiveness is important, but if there comes a point when the person is dragging you down and ruining the life of you and your friends/family/partners, than you have to cut ties.
We’ve all experienced this in one way, shape, or form in our life. The real tragedy is when you keep someone around like this and they ruin your life and the people around you.
David Askaripour
June 13th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Lawrence, right on. I definitely try not to burn bridges and keeping open the lines of growth for the future. Good point.
So true Gina. There is a difference between forgiveness and letting someone who continues to lie back into your life.
Eric, I know! It’s that horrible when your see someone’s true colors… I guess it can be looked at as a blessing in disguise because you wouldn’t have wanted to push forward with someone who would end up leaving you in the dust eventually.
Adam, yup… that is the real tragedy — when people continue to let their lives become infected by such a person. As wise and intelligent people, we need to know when it’s time to shut someone out and move on without him/her.
Friday clickables « The Right Time is Now.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:25 am
[...] Mind Petals blogger David Askaripour explains why he believes some people shouldn’t get second chances. [...]
Leave a Comment