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What does it mean to “be yourself” ? Do you know who you are? What are you? Are you Kevin? Joe? Sarah? Jessica? Are you a mailman? A student? A lover? A hater? Racist? Black? White? Rich? Gay? Straight? Lesbian? Smart? Nerdy? Spanish? Mexican? American? Argentine? Sad? Bad? Fucked in the head? Techy? Savvy? Painter? Spiritual? Religious?
As I sit here typing this article on my macbook, I’m a member to all top websites — facebook, google, youtube, myspace, yahoo. I’m surrounded by a few hard drives amounting to over 2 tbs of space (that’s a lot!), an iPhone, digital cameras, ipod, Internet phones, Flip cams, and all sorts of wires entangling my feet. I’m fucking surrounded by technology. I’m swimming in a sea of facebook friends, emails, youtube comments, and all sorts of requests, pokes, pings, and notifications. I’m surprised that I’m not sweating lead. Jesus, how did I get in so deep? Since the age of 12 I’ve been digital. And now there’s almost no going back. Or is there?
Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is just saying “no.” It sounds simple, eh? Just say it: “no!” But for most of us, saying no is something like being scared to death to get on stage and give a presentation. And why is this so? Probably because of the world we’re living in. A world where we’ve become so accustomed to getting what we want. We’ve all pocketed a handful of friends and family members that we don’t even practice common courtesy with — remember those phrases like “please” “may I” “can you please do me a favor” — and have chosen to demand requests upon requests because we’ve already abused them enough into saying “yes, yes, yes,” that it’s become as natural as breathing.
But let’s not blame these demanders for we are the only ones to blame. We’ve allowed them to take such advantage of us that all barriers of politeness and respect have been destroyed. Now we find ourselves in a situation where we’re scared to say no to anything. “Can you lend me your book?” “yes.” “Can I sleep on your couch?” “yes.” “Can I borrow $100 bucks?” “yes.” Now you’re a yes man. You yes your way through life all the while you’re suffering inside because you really wanted to say “no.” In fact, you don’t want to lend Joe your book because he never returns them. You don’t want to let Sarah sleep on your couch because she makes a mess and never cleans up after herself. And you don’t want to lend Kevin $100 bucks because he already owes you $500. And yet, the cycle continues. You continue to allow people to step all over you.
How great is it to come to a long sought-after realization! What a feeling of immense joy to break through a barrier within your business and creative pursuits. It’s electrifying to find success in whatever we are pursing. And what’s the first thing we want to do when success is achieved? Run out and tell the world! We call our friends, partners, parents and drop a bag of “I did its” on them. We’re on top of the world, or so it seems. We met success and now it’s become a burning ball of exhilaration within us that we have to get it out, fast and to as many ears willing to listen.
But isn’t that so heavy? To constantly feel the “must” and need to unload your success on other people. Is this really a good thing to do? Sure, we’re excited and want to share our achievements with others, but what about taking a moment, silently and internally, and allowing a pause of grace and consideration to take shape — just you and your success. To reflect on your advancements and meditate on the journey that has led up to it. To contemplate the emotions of joy and renewal that surely come from any strides we make.
Sometimes I just feel downright lazy, unproductive, and like a complete loser. I feel like I’m wasting my time and that I’m dishonoring my passions, talents, the work that’s important to me.
Anyone that’s dealing with anything at least remotely creative knows what I speak of. Writers call it “writer’s block.” And I guess a painter would call it “painter’s block?” Being a naturally contemplative, calm, meditative, and take-it-easy sort of dude, I can appreciate what it means to constantly take a step back from your work, whatever it may be, and allow the mind to settle and the creative energies to reform. If it wasn’t for these sort of meditative breaks of calm, tranquility, and relaxation, I wouldn’t be who I am as many artists wouldn’t be able to do what they do.
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